So to speak.
I have to confess that with 4 days away, a week back, and now 10 days away from Mr Spouse, I am really missing him. You know what I mean. But I am also acutely aware that I have let things slide in the bedroom department. Loads of good reasons - when we were actively Trying I didn't want to rock the boat, so if things work for me, grand, if not, I'd not complain, but just get on with it. Now we are actively Avoiding then the problems relating to Mr Spouse's diabetes plus the obligatory use of condoms has made us a bit reluctant at certain times of the month when they are necessary; we can use a certain medication (not the blue one) but it causes headaches (in the person taking it, I hope you realise, not the partner!) so it's really for special occasions/when we'll get a lot of "use" out of it/when he already has a headache and doesn't think it will get any worse!
But I am thinking we are doing ourselves (especially me) a disservice. We are (OK this is really hard to talk about!) somewhat limited in the positions we can use, physically (again relating to the reason for the medication, if you get my drift), but we have tended to fall into a habit of, if it's OK for him, that's the end of it. He does his best, but sometimes I'd like him to do it for a bit longer - and sometimes being enthusiastic doesn't cut it - and sometimes I'm not actually sure what will work until it actually does.
OK my embarrassment threshold has probably now been reached but although I'm not entirely sure if our fertility issues have really led to this - and it's not really THAT bad to be honest, I'm pretty sure they haven't helped, and we have certainly been through better patches.