Friday, April 29, 2011

One of those odd thoughts that strikes you

We (as in, my imaginary friends inside the computer and I) have been discussing a very important point of the Royal Wedding* - how soon there will be a Royal Baby. Of course the mutterati are muttering that she'll be starting soon, perhaps she's already pregnant, and perhaps she got checked out already too? My point was that since 1/3 of infertility is male factor, that won't help, but perhaps Wills has already been to make a quick deposit to be checked? And of course with 1/3 unexplained, everything could come back fine and they could still have problems.

But my mind then runs on (of course) to what if Wills is shooting blanks - how does the Royal Succession deal with donor insemination? I'm assuming donor eggs are fine since who cares where the mother's side comes from (well, perhaps if the donor was Catholic??!) but would he have to turn to Harry for a donation? And if Harry obliged, what would happen if Harry already had a child? Or if Wills & Kate got lucky later on and had a child without help, what would that mean?

All important issues I'm sure you understand.

*Don't worry, I'm not watching it. I've got the day off but I'm about to go into town to buy some last minute items for Brownie Camp which starts this afternoon!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

No news... this case is definitely not good news. But it does save us from making a decision, and we have slightly clarified the boundaries (even though we don't really know where they are ourselves) with NLA, too.

Instead I'll show you the finished quilt I was talking about a while back:

(Isn't it nice how photos make things look so much more professional?!)

Sunday, April 24, 2011

First reserve

So, after a nailbiting couple of days, our profile was shown, but we hadn't seen the additional information. We were not first choice but it has all been so rushed, the couple that were picked had also not had the full picture, so they are holding us second in case there is a dealbreaker for the other couple.

It is hard though - it's a really important decision, but not much time to decide - and there are some aspects Mr Spouse in particular is quite uncomfortable with. He's wondering if these are inevitable (I think we may have some prejudices about why parents place children for adoption - but I also think that we may just be seeing one particular cross-section at the moment).

Anyway I'm not quite sure what we'd do if the first couple say no, but we are talking it over. I feel if it doesn't work out either way, there are enough situations we shouldn't have to wait tooooo long.

Which brings me to my second point. Panic.

The baby in this situation is due in 6 weeks. It occurs to me that, for the next 18 months or longer, we need to be ready to fly - and be away for a month or longer - at this notice or considerably less. I can see work taking major advantage of me over this and trying to persuade me to keep in email touch/answer questions while I'm out on leave. And "work" is not just my colleagues in the building, but also multiple collaborators worldwide, many of whom have gone back to work a month after giving birth - so lots of emotional blackmail and likely some projects that will just collapse.

But you'll laugh if I say the most worry is taking place over how to hand over my Brownie unit. It's my project, I started it and I'm the public face and the one the girls are expecting to go on holiday with!

(Sorry for the slight case of leaving-you-hanging, we are still in this situation but I started writing on Thursday, only for the dog to eat my homework)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Possibly maybe

We got another call - this time a situation (a couple) we feel happy with. We are just waiting on some further information but our profile may be shown to them tomorrow.

I kind of thought that Nice Little Agency wouldn't call us every time they were thinking of showing our profile - but perhaps they are going to - I'm going to spend the next year or so on tenterhooks if we don't get picked quickly!

Saturday, April 02, 2011

Another bite

We got another email asking if our profile could be shown to an expectant couple. We said no, again! Are we mad?
If you remember, we have to use Official Hague Person as well as Nice Little Agency - we've paid a deposit with both, and we've only been "officially waiting" for 6 weeks now. OHP asked us originally if we just wanted to use them, and network ourselves. They have contacts in a variety of agencies and it was a family who are going through one of these agencies.

We reckoned however that we have not given NLA enough of a chance to search for us. We assume (I think I said this already) that they are also showing our profile to expectant parents that they do not ask us about (and the reason OHP asked us was, we think, because it's another agency rather than a parent they have direct contact with).

We did in this case, as in the other, get to see the (anonymised - though not very efficiently, ahem) profile of the expectant parents. We won't share the details either here or with our social worker, but I think we might give her a small taster of the kind of situation, and also let her know that we are having this type of enquiry - I'm not sure she'll really like it from the point of view of the whole intercountry procedure, but the way I see it, we have to have official matches notified through OHP and through our UK agency, but this is not an official match.

The way I see it, if it's a toss up between showing us some of the information unofficially, so we can say yes, no, or more information please - and showing our profile to some scared and vulnerable expectant parents, having them say yes please we like Dr and Mr Spouse, and then having us say no thanks - take the first option every time. Don't put scared and vulnerable people through indecision. It feels weird though that we are not the most scared and vulnerable people in this situation.

Anyway there were also quite a few factors that are a bit difficult to decide about - in fact, individually they would probably be just fine, it's that there were so many of them - plus some other factors that we had further questions about - so, as with our previous nibble, it is good to clarify what we'd want more information on, and good to know we are marketable.