Monday, March 17, 2008

Is it really bad...

that one reason I was hoping I'd be pregnant is so I can be a bit more relaxed about the timing of, erm, activity? We don't do too badly, our minimum average per month I'd say was about twice a week, and although I do use Persona or sometimes OPK thingys I mainly do them so I know when the second half of my cycle starts as that's fairly predictable, the first half only varying by 1 or at most 3 days but it all helps in the Keep Calm enterprise. I'm not really into timing, more into quantity.

But an average of twice a week conceals a large range (from zero to, therefore, 4 or more) and sometimes I do feel like zero and if that's the second week of my cycle, well, I do feel like I've wasted one more month.

In slightly brighter news, the social worker I'd been muttering about ("where's this preparation course, we've been waiting ages, has she just forgotten about us, does she think people don't have lives and don't need any notice") actually hadn't told us the dates for this month's course because... it's next month. It won't be in the school holidays so it has to be logically after we get back from our skiing trip. Yes, we are a childless couple who goes on lots of foreign holidays. No clichés here.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Trigger-happy versus gun-shy

Why is it that on day 28 I can get up, think "yeah, why not test" and go ahead and do it without any premeditation, but on day 30 I spend half the night agonising about whether or not to test? Both negative, of course. And my period started later today, of course.

An online friend, R, whose 3-year-old has moderate spina bifida (operation at birth and more in the future, but walked at about 2 and very verbal and bright) just went for her second pregnancy 20 week scan. Multiple abnormalities. Probable Edwards syndrome. Having decided firmly against termination last time, this one is probably an even harder call for them, leaving aside the complete devastation they must be feeling.

In brighter news, Overseas Adoption Couple are just back from a week in Central America to visit their baby. The photos are beyond cute but the adoption hotel sounds surreal.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Trying from the laptop

Unusually I seem to be better working on the laptop on the sofa so I'm trying a quick update:

Valentine's day: Wishing of course for pink lines, fearing instead red loo paper, I in fact got neither and was left hoping. Of course my period started the next day. We did have a nice chocolatey meal in.

My birthday -1 (Monday 18th). Disorganisation means that I couldn't arrange for a massage on my birthday, when I was planning to take the day off, so I booked in for a manicure on the day itself and then investigated massages. While doing this I found a new acupuncturist so arranged to see her also.

My birthday - A nice day, in fact. Skive off work early, manicure, out to dinner with Mr Spouse. Sadly no chocolatey puddings on the menu. I have a very large almond crême brulée.

Thursday - Wake up with sore throat. Go for my first acupuncture session. Very sympathetic lady who seems to do quite a bit of obstetric work and does not seem phased by treating me during a risky pregnancy. Have one session and book in for a second. Feel better after session but at work immediately start feeling shaky, ache all over and feel nauseous. Go home and go to bed. Not sure when back/shoulders started to ache but feel it by now.

Friday - Feel slightly better and get some work done, then have afternoon off for massage. Very relaxing and shoulders feel better.

Saturday - Not entirely sure this was the cause, but I have a new stand-up craft table and used it today, and my back started getting worse.

Sunday to Wednesday - Back starts hurting more, start sleeping less, and start feeling increasingly despairing about even being awake in the bedroom at the same time as Mr Spouse. Did I mention he started a new job this week that involves a 7.15 train?

Wednesday - Go to acupuncturist again. Realise I am feeling guilty for a) giving acupuncturist any grounds for believing I could get pregnant this month and b) spending all that money on acupuncturist.

Thursday-Friday - Decide to take back in hand, so to speak. Cut down slightly on computer use on Thursday, cut out knitting, and have non-computer-based meeting on Friday. Back feels slightly better and I get some sleep.

Weekend -
Mr Spouse feels more awake on Saturday morning. Make very short list of essential computer-based and standing-up-based tasks and then step away from computer. Back starts to feel even better. Avoid the issue of Mothering Sunday by not going to church in the morning, and then feeling too knackered from a long walk to go in the evening (traditionally less gooey anyway).

Today - Try to keep time at computer to 1/2 hour continuously. This is helped by power cut in the middle of the day.

That wasn't very quick... but you are now up to date. I don't feel as old as I did before my birthday, but I still feel old.

Sunday, March 02, 2008


I've done something to my upper back which seems to be exacerbated by sitting at the computer. I'm trying really hard to minimise my non-work computer use... hence no posts.