Thursday, October 09, 2014

More Miscellany

* I don't know how to do bullet points on my phone but that's the easiest way for me to post at the moment.

* Potty training continues to go astonishingly well. We may be in our third consecutive dry day.

* Mummy however is struggling with shouting. The current flash point behaviour is mainly around food, but any exclusion (shutting out of the kitchen to stop him grabbing at the stove, or in his room so I can do TMI type things in the bathroom) tends to lead to an accident on the floor. So it's hard to prevent food-related bad behaviour.

* Tiny seems to be teething, but it took Small 3 months from this stage to an actual tooth.

* I am currently pinned under a sleeping baby while Small watches Ceebeebies. I think I'll live.

Friday, October 03, 2014


Erm... oops?

I keep thinking of little things that I mean to write but by the time I've got anywhere near a computer, they are gone out of my head. I will try and give you a few bullet points, not necessarily the most global or interesting ones.

  • Small is more or less potty trained. Wha....?! He just decided he wanted not to wear nappies, we went through three weeks of constant accidents, and he is now a whizz (ha ha, sorry) on the loo but still has the occasional pair of wet pants (currently between zero and two per day), usually now through being busy with something else rather than attention seeking.

  • My niece is now living with my mum (this is somewhat relevant to the Family of Five's recent post). She hasn't been in school for a year, she was "failing" before that, she's in her last year of primary school and has only had two years in school before that, and although she has in theory been home schooled in practice there has been borderline neglect and no schooling at all. Not surprisingly she's apprehensive about secondary school and also suffers from social anxiety and very poor sleeping. Sound like any children my fellow adopters know?

  • We met up with the lovely Hairy Farmer Family recently, she'll be able to tell you that Tiny continues to be gorgeous.

  • We also met up with a relative who said something along the lines of "but she doesn't look that dark". I'm not quite sure what the implication was, maybe that we shouldn't bother telling Tiny her birth father wasn't white?

  • Small and Tiny's birth area was mentioned on the news recently and Small said "where's Nella?". Our collective gob was smacked.

Sunday, August 17, 2014


Forgot to say we are home!
Not much time to say much else, sorry.
If I sit down ever, I'll post a bit more.

Monday, August 04, 2014

Day in the life

We are supposed to hear something about the visa tomorrow. In the meantime, we have been trying to keep busy.  Our days seem to go something like this:

2am. Wake up and panic that we haven't fed Tiny.  Realise she's still asleep.
3am or so. Tiny wakes up. Feed Tiny.  Change nappy. Tiny decides it's time to play.  Persuade her it isn't by putting her in swaddler. Tiny resists. Tiny goes back to sleep. Brain decides it's time to play. Realise it's 9 am at home. Check email.
4am. Check email again.
5am. Go back to sleep.
6.30am. Small demands milk. Ignore him
6.40. Repeat.
6.50. Give up and give him milk.
7am. Feed Tiny in the brief interval before Small demands breakfast with menaces.
7.30 or so. Small has now finished his brief period of playing nicely for the day.
9am. Realise that we have not yet dressed Small or ourselves, or showered, and that we are due to go out. Unsure where the last 2 hours went.
9.30 am. Argue about who is ready to go out, and whether we have time to feed Tiny again.
10am. Go out to some activity. We do have a weekly schedule, including a church "moms who shop" daycare, swimming, the zoo, and the library.
11am. It is close of business at home, despair of getting any news today.
11.30 am at the latest. If we have been outside, it is now too hot and we go inside for lunch or home.
12.00. Waiting for lunch. Small is yelling "food coming" and throwing cutlery. 
12.30. Lunch arrives. Tiny demands a bottle.
1pm or so. At home, Small down for a nap.
2.15. Praying that his nap will last. One of us has possibly gone to the supermarket, in which case he will definitely have a short nap and wake up grouchy.
3pm. Small is probably up, throwing all his toys, and being told not to pull his sister's arm (no idea why this seems appealing to him). If we are lucky, he is also "helping" to sweep the kitchen/sort the laundry.
4pm. Decide it's cool enough to walk to the mall/dollar store/throw a ball around the garden/that you really do feel like filling the paddling pool.
4.15pm. Small is tired and hot and yelling Up! Up! Or you are deeply regretting the walk as you are tired and hot. Or Small has got bored of the paddling pool within 5 minutes of you taking 10 minutes to fill it.
4.30. Wonder how long it is till bedtime. Small throws more toys while we feed Tiny.
4.45. Small has been sent to his room for the 10th time. Half his toys are in our bedroom.
5.00. Give in to demands for Tumble ipad. Or Big Bird Elmo.
5.10 Small says "No dis one! the End!" after every scene.
5.30. Decide to make Small his own dinner and get adult takeout.
5.50. Small eats the meat and carbs and says "all gone". Say you'll help him. Put 1 cubic mm of potato on a spoon on top of a carrot. He eats both (For which we are eternally grateful).
6.10. Bath and running around naked.
6.30. Drinking milk on nappy change mat while kicking parent. Repeated walking out of room until he stops.
6.45. Small rejects all possible stories including all his previous favourites. Is told he will have story X or no story. Forcible teeth brushing. Asks for kiss from Mummy, Daddy and Tiny. 
7.00. Order takeout. Go and collect takeout. Small demanding more soft toys. Cannot see Small under toys. He then demands cars. Refuse.
7.30. Arrive home with takeout. On entering apartment, Tiny smells takeout and demands milk. Eat takeout one handed.
8.00. Boil water for formula, watch Breaking Bad, drink alcohol. Tiny demands song and dance.
9.30. Persuade Tiny to have more milk.
9.45. Tiny in swaddler.
9.46. Parents in bed. Read 3 pages of relaxing book.
10pm Asleep.
Midnight. Awake and panic that we haven't fed Tiny. Realise she's still asleep.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
(Yes, they do seem just as long to us...)

Saturday, July 05, 2014


We've been celebrating:
Mr Spouse's birthday yesterday;
July Fourth today;
And Tiny's placement yesterday!
But I'm too tired to tell you much more.

Friday, June 27, 2014


Our package (home study and all the rest) is out on the courier truck for delivery to New Agency from OHP, in the next hour. We're headed to the agency. Crossing our fingers we don't need anything else, as NA have not actually seen any of this paperwork yet.
We still need the placement letter (which is all we needed when Small was placed as the rest had been in place for ages) but that's at least straightforward.

Friday, June 20, 2014

There isn't a box for Brown

Oh no, I'm so sorry - we don't even have the excuse that we've got a newborn, for not updating.

We've spent most of our time over the last 3 weeks driving up and down to the foster carer's house and also various activities for Small.  He has become much more settled since a) Daddy arrived and b) we found some regular things for him to do (swimming, library story session, a small part time daycare). We've been to the beach for the weekend and we have a promise of a babysitter for Mr Spouse's birthday and an invitation to a July 4th party. I and Small are doing a Library Summer Reading program. This feels like a summer in my childhood actually - even down to not wanting to get in the hot car. Small has got a bit more used to the heat too.

Tiny lost, and then didn't gain, some more weight, but she's rallied and is now happily getting chubby. She also has some features which mean we don't think her birth father is the person Nella thinks he is, her current boyfriend, let's call him Steve. Steve appears white and has a European last name. We are due to see them again and I for one am a bit nervous about his reaction. We think we'll have the grandparents present at any meetings though.

Tiny has quite a bit of pigmentation, which is darkening over time, and straight dark hair (though so does Steve and to be fair, Mr Spouse). The doctor agrees. We're going with a Hispanic birth father (it was one of the original options). She's had a couple of medical appointment and at one of them the practitioner double checked our form. I explained I hadn't checked White or Hispanic so I was left with Other. "There isn't a box for Brown, is there?" said the practitioner, who looks like he's spent his life needing one. We wonder how many congratulations cards we'll get and how many of them will feature blonde, blue eyed girls. We do know a family who have adopted from Central America but there are very few families with similar origins, though a lot of brown families, in the UK.

Our first batch of paperwork (the home study) should be sent to OHP today or Monday, and then New Agency have to look at it. The UK department should then send our placement letter - in theory by the end of next week. Assuming that NA have all they need, we can take custody of Tiny then. We have a bassinet, and a vibrating chair. Small had a padded floor mat when he was a newborn, and we were staying in the next door apartment to this one (there is a strong sense of déjà vu here!) but with a boisterous toddler that's not practical! We have a car seat, and a selection of random clothes. Nappies I think is all we need.