Sunday, August 17, 2014


Forgot to say we are home!
Not much time to say much else, sorry.
If I sit down ever, I'll post a bit more.

Monday, August 04, 2014

Day in the life

We are supposed to hear something about the visa tomorrow. In the meantime, we have been trying to keep busy.  Our days seem to go something like this:

2am. Wake up and panic that we haven't fed Tiny.  Realise she's still asleep.
3am or so. Tiny wakes up. Feed Tiny.  Change nappy. Tiny decides it's time to play.  Persuade her it isn't by putting her in swaddler. Tiny resists. Tiny goes back to sleep. Brain decides it's time to play. Realise it's 9 am at home. Check email.
4am. Check email again.
5am. Go back to sleep.
6.30am. Small demands milk. Ignore him
6.40. Repeat.
6.50. Give up and give him milk.
7am. Feed Tiny in the brief interval before Small demands breakfast with menaces.
7.30 or so. Small has now finished his brief period of playing nicely for the day.
9am. Realise that we have not yet dressed Small or ourselves, or showered, and that we are due to go out. Unsure where the last 2 hours went.
9.30 am. Argue about who is ready to go out, and whether we have time to feed Tiny again.
10am. Go out to some activity. We do have a weekly schedule, including a church "moms who shop" daycare, swimming, the zoo, and the library.
11am. It is close of business at home, despair of getting any news today.
11.30 am at the latest. If we have been outside, it is now too hot and we go inside for lunch or home.
12.00. Waiting for lunch. Small is yelling "food coming" and throwing cutlery. 
12.30. Lunch arrives. Tiny demands a bottle.
1pm or so. At home, Small down for a nap.
2.15. Praying that his nap will last. One of us has possibly gone to the supermarket, in which case he will definitely have a short nap and wake up grouchy.
3pm. Small is probably up, throwing all his toys, and being told not to pull his sister's arm (no idea why this seems appealing to him). If we are lucky, he is also "helping" to sweep the kitchen/sort the laundry.
4pm. Decide it's cool enough to walk to the mall/dollar store/throw a ball around the garden/that you really do feel like filling the paddling pool.
4.15pm. Small is tired and hot and yelling Up! Up! Or you are deeply regretting the walk as you are tired and hot. Or Small has got bored of the paddling pool within 5 minutes of you taking 10 minutes to fill it.
4.30. Wonder how long it is till bedtime. Small throws more toys while we feed Tiny.
4.45. Small has been sent to his room for the 10th time. Half his toys are in our bedroom.
5.00. Give in to demands for Tumble ipad. Or Big Bird Elmo.
5.10 Small says "No dis one! the End!" after every scene.
5.30. Decide to make Small his own dinner and get adult takeout.
5.50. Small eats the meat and carbs and says "all gone". Say you'll help him. Put 1 cubic mm of potato on a spoon on top of a carrot. He eats both (For which we are eternally grateful).
6.10. Bath and running around naked.
6.30. Drinking milk on nappy change mat while kicking parent. Repeated walking out of room until he stops.
6.45. Small rejects all possible stories including all his previous favourites. Is told he will have story X or no story. Forcible teeth brushing. Asks for kiss from Mummy, Daddy and Tiny. 
7.00. Order takeout. Go and collect takeout. Small demanding more soft toys. Cannot see Small under toys. He then demands cars. Refuse.
7.30. Arrive home with takeout. On entering apartment, Tiny smells takeout and demands milk. Eat takeout one handed.
8.00. Boil water for formula, watch Breaking Bad, drink alcohol. Tiny demands song and dance.
9.30. Persuade Tiny to have more milk.
9.45. Tiny in swaddler.
9.46. Parents in bed. Read 3 pages of relaxing book.
10pm Asleep.
Midnight. Awake and panic that we haven't fed Tiny. Realise she's still asleep.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
(Yes, they do seem just as long to us...)

Saturday, July 05, 2014


We've been celebrating:
Mr Spouse's birthday yesterday;
July Fourth today;
And Tiny's placement yesterday!
But I'm too tired to tell you much more.

Friday, June 27, 2014


Our package (home study and all the rest) is out on the courier truck for delivery to New Agency from OHP, in the next hour. We're headed to the agency. Crossing our fingers we don't need anything else, as NA have not actually seen any of this paperwork yet.
We still need the placement letter (which is all we needed when Small was placed as the rest had been in place for ages) but that's at least straightforward.

Friday, June 20, 2014

There isn't a box for Brown

Oh no, I'm so sorry - we don't even have the excuse that we've got a newborn, for not updating.

We've spent most of our time over the last 3 weeks driving up and down to the foster carer's house and also various activities for Small.  He has become much more settled since a) Daddy arrived and b) we found some regular things for him to do (swimming, library story session, a small part time daycare). We've been to the beach for the weekend and we have a promise of a babysitter for Mr Spouse's birthday and an invitation to a July 4th party. I and Small are doing a Library Summer Reading program. This feels like a summer in my childhood actually - even down to not wanting to get in the hot car. Small has got a bit more used to the heat too.

Tiny lost, and then didn't gain, some more weight, but she's rallied and is now happily getting chubby. She also has some features which mean we don't think her birth father is the person Nella thinks he is, her current boyfriend, let's call him Steve. Steve appears white and has a European last name. We are due to see them again and I for one am a bit nervous about his reaction. We think we'll have the grandparents present at any meetings though.

Tiny has quite a bit of pigmentation, which is darkening over time, and straight dark hair (though so does Steve and to be fair, Mr Spouse). The doctor agrees. We're going with a Hispanic birth father (it was one of the original options). She's had a couple of medical appointment and at one of them the practitioner double checked our form. I explained I hadn't checked White or Hispanic so I was left with Other. "There isn't a box for Brown, is there?" said the practitioner, who looks like he's spent his life needing one. We wonder how many congratulations cards we'll get and how many of them will feature blonde, blue eyed girls. We do know a family who have adopted from Central America but there are very few families with similar origins, though a lot of brown families, in the UK.

Our first batch of paperwork (the home study) should be sent to OHP today or Monday, and then New Agency have to look at it. The UK department should then send our placement letter - in theory by the end of next week. Assuming that NA have all they need, we can take custody of Tiny then. We have a bassinet, and a vibrating chair. Small had a padded floor mat when he was a newborn, and we were staying in the next door apartment to this one (there is a strong sense of déjà vu here!) but with a boisterous toddler that's not practical! We have a car seat, and a selection of random clothes. Nappies I think is all we need.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

And further apologies

The last post was in draft for 3 days... But yes, we have met her, she's a lot more gorgeous than in the photos birth family took of her in some rather hideous clothes, and she's just very very small.
Currently I'm trying to manage a toddler who doesn't really like the heat, or riding in cars a lot, in 32C heat and a sprawling city. And I'm also trying to remember how to feed a teeny newborn who finds it tiring to suck. Small thinks she's "cute", he's clearly making an effort to remember her name, and he thinks her hair is "fluffy". He doesn't seem too impressed with me holding her, not surprisingly.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Sorry to leave you hanging!

I'm currently looking at cute, handmade, very expensive unisex baby clothes on Pinterest to counteract the bushel of Minnie Mouse outfits that birth family seem intent on giving our daughter.

Yes, you read that right - paperwork all signed off, Tiny is with Lovely Cradle Care Lady in Agencyville, I'm in Birth City with Cranky Toddler henceforth known as Small.

We had an, er, trying day today which I didn't manage superbly well but Small coped OK. He was rather taken with Tiny's birth father despite the suboptimal teeth to tattoo ratio. Sadly, I found out yesterday that he (Tiny's BF) was adopted himself, aged 8, I assume after a lengthy spell in care.  I am angry with myself and also with some other people, unconnected to us, about disclosing information that isn't theirs to disclose. But there's not much that can be done now.

I have managed to stay awake a full hour longer than I thought I would by the power of Fritos. Small went to sleep at his normal time so we'll see if he's bouncing off th walls at 4 am again.

Name inspiration: