Saturday, July 05, 2014


We've been celebrating:
Mr Spouse's birthday yesterday;
July Fourth today;
And Tiny's placement yesterday!
But I'm too tired to tell you much more.

Friday, June 27, 2014


Our package (home study and all the rest) is out on the courier truck for delivery to New Agency from OHP, in the next hour. We're headed to the agency. Crossing our fingers we don't need anything else, as NA have not actually seen any of this paperwork yet.
We still need the placement letter (which is all we needed when Small was placed as the rest had been in place for ages) but that's at least straightforward.

Friday, June 20, 2014

There isn't a box for Brown

Oh no, I'm so sorry - we don't even have the excuse that we've got a newborn, for not updating.

We've spent most of our time over the last 3 weeks driving up and down to the foster carer's house and also various activities for Small.  He has become much more settled since a) Daddy arrived and b) we found some regular things for him to do (swimming, library story session, a small part time daycare). We've been to the beach for the weekend and we have a promise of a babysitter for Mr Spouse's birthday and an invitation to a July 4th party. I and Small are doing a Library Summer Reading program. This feels like a summer in my childhood actually - even down to not wanting to get in the hot car. Small has got a bit more used to the heat too.

Tiny lost, and then didn't gain, some more weight, but she's rallied and is now happily getting chubby. She also has some features which mean we don't think her birth father is the person Nella thinks he is, her current boyfriend, let's call him Steve. Steve appears white and has a European last name. We are due to see them again and I for one am a bit nervous about his reaction. We think we'll have the grandparents present at any meetings though.

Tiny has quite a bit of pigmentation, which is darkening over time, and straight dark hair (though so does Steve and to be fair, Mr Spouse). The doctor agrees. We're going with a Hispanic birth father (it was one of the original options). She's had a couple of medical appointment and at one of them the practitioner double checked our form. I explained I hadn't checked White or Hispanic so I was left with Other. "There isn't a box for Brown, is there?" said the practitioner, who looks like he's spent his life needing one. We wonder how many congratulations cards we'll get and how many of them will feature blonde, blue eyed girls. We do know a family who have adopted from Central America but there are very few families with similar origins, though a lot of brown families, in the UK.

Our first batch of paperwork (the home study) should be sent to OHP today or Monday, and then New Agency have to look at it. The UK department should then send our placement letter - in theory by the end of next week. Assuming that NA have all they need, we can take custody of Tiny then. We have a bassinet, and a vibrating chair. Small had a padded floor mat when he was a newborn, and we were staying in the next door apartment to this one (there is a strong sense of déjà vu here!) but with a boisterous toddler that's not practical! We have a car seat, and a selection of random clothes. Nappies I think is all we need.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

And further apologies

The last post was in draft for 3 days... But yes, we have met her, she's a lot more gorgeous than in the photos birth family took of her in some rather hideous clothes, and she's just very very small.
Currently I'm trying to manage a toddler who doesn't really like the heat, or riding in cars a lot, in 32C heat and a sprawling city. And I'm also trying to remember how to feed a teeny newborn who finds it tiring to suck. Small thinks she's "cute", he's clearly making an effort to remember her name, and he thinks her hair is "fluffy". He doesn't seem too impressed with me holding her, not surprisingly.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Sorry to leave you hanging!

I'm currently looking at cute, handmade, very expensive unisex baby clothes on Pinterest to counteract the bushel of Minnie Mouse outfits that birth family seem intent on giving our daughter.

Yes, you read that right - paperwork all signed off, Tiny is with Lovely Cradle Care Lady in Agencyville, I'm in Birth City with Cranky Toddler henceforth known as Small.

We had an, er, trying day today which I didn't manage superbly well but Small coped OK. He was rather taken with Tiny's birth father despite the suboptimal teeth to tattoo ratio. Sadly, I found out yesterday that he (Tiny's BF) was adopted himself, aged 8, I assume after a lengthy spell in care.  I am angry with myself and also with some other people, unconnected to us, about disclosing information that isn't theirs to disclose. But there's not much that can be done now.

I have managed to stay awake a full hour longer than I thought I would by the power of Fritos. Small went to sleep at his normal time so we'll see if he's bouncing off th walls at 4 am again.

Name inspiration:

Saturday, May 24, 2014

On tenterhooks

The baby (a girl) was born early this morning. Nella has called and texted us several times, including sending several pictures. She doesn't really have much option besides terminating her rights, sadly for her, given her history - New Agency social worker says the hospital is aware of the child protection involvement.
So we should meet her on Tuesday. However, it's possible that she (I think I'll call her Tiny, because she is) may be discharged to the cradle (foster) carer on Monday. In which case we'll spend Tuesday with Nella, her parents, Tiny's probable father, Nella's older daughter, and possibly Nella's older son and his parents, all scaring poor Baby Spouse, who will also be jetlagged. Deep joy.

Monday, May 19, 2014

As Peter Kay would say...

Booked it, packed it, f*&(&(*ed off...

Well, I've done the first, most of the second (calculating daily what I can pack away next), not yet the third.

I've booked flights for Monday (a week today) to Nella's city (which is about 3 or 4 hours from NLA/New Agency City).  The plan (and you know what they say about plans) is that I fly with Baby Spouse that day, arriving late afternoon Central Time, and go straight to an airport motel where we both go to sleep. We would then see Nella and her parents the next few days, staying in a Suites type motel nearer the parents' home. 

I am understandably pretty nervous about this. I'm nervous about flying with Baby Spouse, that he'll be very upset/not sleep, nervous about driving on my own in a big city that I don't know well (I'm no more nervious about doing this on the wrong side of the road though!), nervous about seeing them all, nervous that the baby will be late and we'll be hanging around for ages and ages, and of course very nervous that Nella will change her mind again.

Mr Spouse should be coming out after about a week (though if the baby is very late this just means we'll have even longer twiddling our thumbs and not doing very much, while Nella probably gets more and more fed up). I am trying to be a bit sensitive to her and not say every five minutes "so, any news?".

I have a feeling Nella thinks we are planning to come a bit earlier and also to fly immediately the baby is born, like we did last time - firstly we are still very fed up with her, and secondly it's not as easy to drop our lives this time as it was last time - so I'm not really looking forward to breaking it to her that we aren't coming as soon as she'd like, either.

On the other hand, it will be warm (no, it will be unbearably hot) and Baby Spouse loves swimming and the motel has a pool... And I've been looking up toddler swimming lessons, and library toddler story sessions, all that kind of thing, in NA City. We are likely to be there for longer this time than last time (it was 6 weeks last time but our home study wasn't completed 30 nanoseconds before travelling last time). We're trying to look on this as a little holiday.