Sunday, September 15, 2013

In which I state the bleedin obvious

It is quite tiring having a toddler. It is even more tiring having a toddler and working. You get almost no time that is not either caring-for-toddler or frantically-keeping-up-at-work. Mr Spouse is very supportive and nice but he is tired. Baby Spouse is tired (and I am happy with my decision not to work full time as he finds nursery very very tiring and can sleep for up to three hours on non-nursery days).

Work could of course be very supportive and nice too but no, that would be too easy. The summer has been a tale of stroppy letters from my boss who doesn't read his emails so doesn't know when I tell him I'm swapping my working days, and consultations with the union, as well as other reasonable people wanting reasonable things, but needing them now please.  Needless to say, I'm a little stressed.  I have been diagnosed with a stress-related eye condition.  The consultant helpfully suggested I take some time off work. I have no annual leave left (well, I have 1 day - our leave year starts next month and we can't take leave in term time). I can't think of any other people in my job who use all their annual leave (I never have before), but I use most of it up when nursery is closed (it's closed a lot).

I'm not really sure what the point of all this is - I'm trying to find ways to relax, but I come home and am too tired to go out again to the gym (I do have a regular swim session one morning before work), I would like to learn meditation or some relaxation technique (but I'm not a Buddhist, which seems to be the option for classes, and I'm not motivated enough to do something like that regularly alone).  I do still knit and I was doing some sewing today while Baby Spouse napped but I end up thinking "do you really like having a child or do you just like making stuff for him?"

I think this falls under "you made such an effort to do this, just be flipping grateful you've got it and don't moan". In some ways it's a bit easier moaning to my real life mum friends as they don't seem to see adoption - they just see a toddler.