Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Slightly less painful

So some good news this week - first, our medicals are fine, no problems, big relief, all done and dusted.

Turns out we don't need the horrid ouchy tests, but I need to call the clinic to ask them for a letter confirming this. I also need letters from about 75 other people confirming we earn money, confirming that Baby Spouse is well and healthy, etc. etc.

Finally, I actually think my boss is quite pleased I'm probably going on adoption leave. The plan would be for me to take about 9 months again, and this overlaps with S and M (did I already say they are adopting again?)* and someone's maternity leave, meaning he has a much better case for getting money to cover us all.

I'm already running through nursery furniture, childcare options etc. at the same time as telling myself exactly what I told my boss (this is a high risk pregnancy) and what I'm not telling him (Nella is very, erm, fickle).

*I see I didn't. S and M, work colleague and husband, are the Central American adoption couple whose little boy was placed about 2? 3? years before we were matched - he's about 6 or 7 now - he asked for a "brown" sibling and they are obliging with a UK child of mixed ethnicity. Funnily although M is significantly older than Mr Spouse, there were no objections his age by their agency.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014


Two appointments next week - one to see my boss and explain what's happening and the timescales, and one to have a nasty skin test done that, apparently, is crucial for the Victorian medical conditions that pertain in some parts of the US (it's not actually required by Baby Spouse's home state - it is however required by Official Hague Person's state, and as our paperwork touches their ground...).

I'm not sure which will be more painful for me. I am wondering if I should take Baby Spouse to the work appointment to make it less painful - sadly he also has to have the nasty skin test done so I know that one's going to hurt him, poor lad.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Good news

Not only did we have a lovely night away in a hotel with a huge, delicious dinner (I will never eat again) but Mr Spouse also had a positive appointment with his specialist today.  His test results are going in the right direction (i.e. down) so they will continue to monitor but no nasty investigations and no serious worry at the moment. Obviously it would be better if there had never been any concern in the first place but this is the best outcome we could have had right now.

It is still not completely ideal so we think this is not a certainty from the point of view of the agency but it's looking a lot more positive.

I now anticipate wobbles from Mr Spouse ("can we cope with two?") and to a slight extent me ("is this really the right time, especially for work?").

Wednesday, January 08, 2014


We have booked in the first of our many checks for this Friday (this one takes the longest to come back), and on Saturday Mr Spouse has another appointment with the specialist.  They didn't tell him the test result before going in (I can't remember if they wrote to him last time to tell him, but it's a different specialist, so probably has a different style of working).

In between those two times we have a room and dinner in a luxurious local hotel which has the most fabulous Victorian showers - my Christmas present to Mr Spouse.  We also have Baby Spouse with us so that may not mean much of a lie in - though we have to be back for the hospital appointment anyway so we couldn't have lounged around till midday.

I will try and remember to keep you all updated...

Friday, January 03, 2014


We've been a bit busy - annoying work issues are mainly resolved, though it's not a long term solution; I finally found some Christmas presents for Baby (now, really, Toddler) Spouse, and for Mr Spouse; my seemingly vast family have come and gone and we've celebrated Baby Spouse's 2nd birthday, which really seems impossible.

I started getting very panicky a couple of days ago and, of course, not sleeping, about our UK approval process for the new baby.  We were told in early December by our nice social worker that an April approval panel was possible - but I was starting to see that recede into the distance.  Part of the issue was that the agency didn't want us to have to start the process (and pay the overseas fees) if we were definitely going to be rejected due to Mr Spouse's medical issues.  But if our approval is delayed by a month, that means a month of cradle (foster) care fees. And a May panel could easily clash with, well, a birth.

So she's understood that now and is suggesting a timetable that does mean approval in April (or, but fingers crossed not, rejection before then). If Mr Spouse's medical issues do turn out to be at the severe end (which doesn't seem likely) then we think the hospital will want to rush further tests before then anyway, so we'll not be left in limbo about that either.

So all in all. Phew. Now all I have to do is persuade my boss to give me some annual leave in term time which he unfortunately considers evil and wrong. Oh, and to tell him what it's for.  He'll be SO pleased. Not. You remember S and M, overseas adoption couple (she's my colleague)? They've been approved and matched for a second adoption. I'm very pleased for them. It is strangely easier to be pleased for friends adopting again than even those who "lap" us by having a second after many fertility struggles. I know that makes me a nasty person, but there it is.