Wednesday, February 17, 2010

More memories

Ash Wednesday - the fifth anniversary of the day I found out my first pregnancy was going nowhere and that NigelandDelia had died.

That day we went to church in the evening, and burst into noisy uncontrollable sobs afterwards.

Today I managed not to cry and was actually quite calm. I am trying to work on having more peaceful thoughts that do not lead to me worrying away at irrelevant things in the middle of the night and not sleeping. And the clouds of incense helped.

But now I can feel my period is starting. And my cycles seem to be getting shorter; this is both annoying (who needs more frequent periods?), very badly timed (I would much rather feel well today), and depressing (as it is very likely the last groan of my reproductive system).

4 comments:

hairyfarmerfamily said...

Hugs. Big 'uns. Lots.

Rachel said...

I'm so sorry.

And I constantly feel like my reproductive system is pooping out (bad term?) Sometimes I think it would be better if it did. Is that strange?

nutsinmay said...

Hugs. Many, many hugs. If HFF has left any room for them. I had a cry for you, on reading this.

Thalia said...

I'm so sorry I missed this. remembering Nigel and Delia with you.