Why is it that it already feels like we are in the middle of an interminable wait to be matched - even though in fact we are in the middle of a busy, busy home study with new facts and decisions being thrown at us every minute?
Without making it out too much to be "his" versus "my" decision, Mr. Spouse feels that he doesn't really want to raise a child of a different ethnicity (birth father uncertainty notwithstanding - we won't break a match after birth in the same way we wouldn't "send back" a child who turned out later to have new information about their background). I feel I could - no, we could - and now even feel a little sad that probably won't have the chance. I think this is likely because I have so many links and friends who are African or African American and I would love to have that link within our family.
It doesn't seem like it would make us that much more "matchable" (I have a whole other post in my head about my thoughts on overseas placement of African American infants, so bear with me) although our wait time might be a little shorter. And that's the bit that's depressing me. So far the only agency that we really feel comfortable with AND that has unequivocally said yes to us, is quoting 2 years wait on average. Two years. It would be maybe 6 months shorter on average for "mixed" heritage.
I just hate that a piece of good, go-for-it news is followed by finding the next stage is so drawn-out. We have other agencies to approach but I am finding repeatedly they don't reply to my emails. I'm not sure if this is a big spam problem (I have had one or two actual failures of emails), that adopters aren't priority, my incomprehensible writing style, or that most agencies just don't really communicate except by phone.
I think we'd fill our wait productively, but we are not getting younger, and I am so hoping we'd be able to adopt a second child before we get impossibly old.