I've been investigating open evenings with adoption agencies and fertility centres.
The fertility centre (private, but no further away than the closest NHS centre) has an open evening with spaces available in May - not too scarily close.
Our local SW team (for our part of the county) said "ooh, well, we don't really do open evenings, we don't feel the need, most of our work is placing children, people who want to adopt come along as they see fit". Hmm. I have read a number of people on Adoption UK saying that LAs tend to focus on the children they have to place, and put adopters second, and this seems to confirm it, but at least she is sending me an information pack.
I also emailed a private agency (Catholic) about 20 miles away, and they replied almost immediately to tell me about an open evening really soon (in fact, too soon, as Mr Spouse is away for work that day). So I'm going to either find out about another open evening with the Catholic agency, or the local agency said they might have them at County level.
Mr Spouse did suggest me going to the agency's open evening on my own, but I think I already know more than him from internet reading so it seems a bit counterproductive to do that - the idea is to let him find out more as well. He seems quite happy with this step - as he says, it is good to get information, it is knowing what to do with it that is hard - even though he is agnostic as a whole about how, or even whether, to pursue parenthood further if either we get bad news on Monday, or we get no news but still continue to have no luck.
It is hard for him - I said (slightly unfairly, I think) that perhaps he would prefer if I gave up the whole idea, but he says that whatever his feelings, he wants me to have what makes me happy. I know that it is not that he will be unhappy if we have children - he will be happy either way.
1 comment:
I've seen so many examples in people's blogs of being in a slightly different place than their partner at different times. I'm glad the two of you are open to talking about it - that is just so important. It sounds like he'll get there, he just needs to do it in his own way.
Thank you for sharing everything you've learnt about adoption, it's been very helpful to me.
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