you post something on your blog about desperately wanting a baby and then people comment "you haven't been waiting that long", is that wrong (for the record, this IS the person I moan about on FB)? Is it more wrong to comment that on the blog, than behind their back (or is it more wrong to do the opposite)?
And, if someone comments that being a parent is not all roses and you don't have a baby for very long, is that also wrong?
And further, if that same someone is told NOT to make unhelpful comments, and then replies that they find it hard to cope with their adult child with learning disabilities, is that also wrong?
A grey area, at best. I know how much those without children hate being told about the bad times, when they don't seem that bad. This sounded bad. But I have never heard adoption bloggers or posters on forums (even the dreaded Adoption Is Scary forum that I avoid since my "we're matched!" post got zero replies... where all children have serious problems) say that people shouldn't think the grass is greener, and that they would think again about adopting.
I rarely reply to this person but I am replying now (I guess I now count her as at the stage where she should be complaining!) but I am replying to say more or less what I've said here - it's now that you are actively trying to be a parent that you will get more sympathy, but also that many parents who have difficulties are very glad they chose to parent that particular child, even knowing some of the possible difficulties beforehand.
But I can't help hoping that our future child is as easy as the colleague's baby we met today. Only two pukes on my black dress. Serves me right for wearing that colour.