I do feel like a fraud here. The number of people I have had to tell about the adoption plans has grown exponentially but I have still had to say to all of them "it might not work out" and they are still saying unhelpful things like "that's very rare surely?". I really cannot explain the US system to anyone who is not an extremely close friend with whom I wish to spend an hour or so talking - it's just too complex, and I feel judged too.
N is still in need of moral support, and I think is not aware that I'm working at home (to be honest, no-one else would really be aware except for the unfortunate colleagues who I keep pressing for a meeting, or return of documents, as I haven't got much done). I just feel very wobbly talking to her, as I overanalyse everything, and the SW isn't as available to me (which is no doubt why she calls me when she's having a panic), but I might give her a call later in any case.
I think I am going to go out now and go for a run to make the most of the last bit of daylight.