Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Help. Just.. well, help

So the SW at NLA feels that it is necessary for us (or at least me) to be around at the birth. I may not be in the room, but N doesn't plan on caring for the baby, and the whole point of making a plan for adoption with named parents, rather than having it made for you by CPS, is that the prospective adoptive parents are the ones caring for the baby immediately.
So it looks like I'll fly around the 15th January, Mr Spouse will join me as soon as the baby is born, and I'll be hanging around the hospital first and then around the foster carers, till I can take the baby away. NLA were trying to suggest something that I am pretty sure OHP would not like, but we think we have reached a compromise.

I'm also serving as unofficial agony aunt/social worker as N is having some traumatic times in her personal life and rang me three times (!) today (mainly ringing back after being interrupted) to tell me about it. It's all good fun, as Mr Spouse would say. N thinks the baby will come earlier than the due date - I'm squeezing in work appointments at the last minute but really, that is not a good idea, and I am going to have to tell people to back off.


motherissues said...

Wow, good luck and safe travels. This is soon! (If the baby goes to cradle care/foster care, I don't see why it matters whether you're physically there beforehand, but this is such a strange system.)

Have you been able to find any adoption bloggers in the city where the baby will be born? I know you mentioned contacting some, and that sounds to me like a good idea.

Twangypearl the Elastic Girl said...

Wow! This IS all very soon, and requiring of much fortitude and flexibility. Sending you good thoughts - even if I'm somehow totally sure you can handle it.

DrSpouse said...

Thanks for your comment - I think that because of previous issues, N is very much not keen on the idea of foster care, and also the idea of nurses rotating in shifts (if you see what I mean!) is not attractive. I and the SW know that emergency foster care with no PAPs on the scene is not the same as cradle care with PAPs in attendance, and ditto hospital care with me holding the baby 24/7.

Finding bloggers is on the to-do list, I'm just thinking up a strategy...

Rachel said...

That is so soon! Best of luck. Just write down everything and take pictures so that you can tell the baby one day!

Let me know if I can help in any way.

I just talked to H's birth mom and there was a lot of chaos there too. Being that shoulder can be a challenge. Good luck.