This was the phrase that sprang to mind while watching a couple of the singers in the first gospel group singing at a very small festival my choir took part in this afternoon. I suspect they had been told "hey, we're on first, we'll run off quickly and get to watch most of the game". The other choirs looked enthusiastic as well as sounding it, and I think we did well too (despite having almost no basses, who'd have thought it??!)
It also fairly well describes my state of mind in the last couple of weeks. We aren't due to fly home till mid-April but I keep catching myself thinking it's imminent - and therefore it's not worth doing X, Y or Z.
After my last doctor's appointment, I had a nice post planned about causality, but have found myself in a CBA-ness state. So I haven't.
Over the last year, I've approached CD1 mainly with a sense of resignation, but most doctor's appointments with something like enthusiasm. However, this month for some reason I was feeling the opposite - our timing had been good, I was using the progesterone, and if anything had been blocking my tubes it isn't now. Of course I was disappointed. And my appointment wasn't much better either.
I've had I think two, maybe three, other "well, just go away and try again" appointments. Two of them were within a month or two of a pregnancy - when although "at least you can get pregnant" sounds very hollow, it doesn't sound impossible that it will happen again. Now all the RE could say was "are you sure you don't want to do IVF?"
There was a tiny bit more, but as I say, I'm phoning it in.
1 comment:
This may be the absolute wrong thing to say, and I apologize in advance if it is, but this is exactly why I had to stop.
Sorry things didn't work. Nothing sucks more.
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