Just before setting off for SoCal I remembered that we had not yet given our Christmas donation to the Miscarriage Association - a substitute for Christmas cards, and in some ways a way of coming out to some family and friends who did not know what we'd been through. Oops. So I quickly logged on and sorted that out. I noticed they had a few leaflets on their site that hadn't been there before. One is called "When the trying stops" and I found it quite affecting.
Some couples' stories included fostering or adoption and some deciding to live without children. One sentence struck me - "some couples choose to move house". Although we have not moved permanently, and I don't necessarily feel either that we bought a big house to put children in it, nor that we have now moved to a house which is a "couple" house, I think I'm really appreciating the change of scene. It's partly the weather (we've had a not-so-great summer in the UK, and we're in a lovely coastal location here with nice but not too hot weather), and partly the feeling that I'm still on holiday (we've been here less than a week, and it's Labor Day today so I'm not in the office, and we went to a family wedding yesterday).
But I think it is the sense of a fresh start, that we are here for long enough to make a decent go of settling in, the release from (some) obligations. I definitely still feel even more petrified than normal of being pregnant, worried about healthcare, but I also feel somewhat free. It's a bit drastic, but a move of a few thousand miles with 5 suitcases between two of you is to be recommended.