Having noticed my trousers get a little tighter, and being unable to escape the fact that I had been, basically, sitting on the sofa and eating for the past couple of weeks, I promised myself that if I made it past the 8w scan I'd weigh myself. I have put on half a stone (3kg for the imperially challenged) - about 3lb of which I reckon is evenly distributed between my boobs.
Now, I am trying really, really hard not to beat myself up about that - I know that much of it is fluid and blood - but I also know that not exercising, and eating too much sweet stuff, is not good for me or the embryo. So, despite being told not to obsess, I have decided to fill in my online food diary for a week or two. It is not good news. I am eating far more than I need to maintain my weight and I am eating too much sugar, not enough protein, and I'm barely making my 5-a-day some days. I know I should not worry about this, and I also realise I am struggling with nausea, but it is hard not to. I'm trying to concentrate on increasing the amount of protein, and eating slightly less sweet stuff to ward off the nausea.
It is very hard to get to the point of not thinking about my weight, after more than three years of mainly thinking about it. Before I lost weight, I was adamant I was fine - it took a failed glucose tolerance test to wake me up, which is partly why I'm now worried, though at the weight I am now I don't have any problems with glucose, I am very worried about gestational diabetes. But I am also catching myself thinking "I don't want to be a huge fat mother". I actually am not that worried about being a huge fat pregnant woman, partly because I can't quite believe I can get that far.
I had mad ideas of carrying on running while pregnant, and although I am almost certainly not going to go there (boobs hurt too much, and I'm exhausted - took a 2 hour nap today - even leaving my foot aside, so unless they magically stopped hurting in my second trimester, it would be a no go) I still feel idle. I'm not a very sporty person, just fairly active, and I don't like being inactive, but I am still a little scared of being too active.