OK, seriously, what AM I?

I don't have my results from the nurse yet - this is the week they should be available, but she called early Tuesday morning to say one set would not be available till today, and I didn't get a call-back today after leaving a message, so I will try again tomorrow. If you've been following (and if not, do try to keep up at the back! honestly!), if they are all negative I can go on the NK cell trial, which involves calling Dr Q on CD1. Which is today...

So, another cycle, another wasted test. It's now 2 years since we started trying to get pregnant. If I calculate it rationally, that's a maximum of 26 cycles (28 days each) but of those I was pregnant for, say, 3, having a break for 2, on medically enforced abstinence for 1 and out of the country for the crucial week of another one. So that's 19 cycles and probably 3 measurable pregnancies. So I would imagine your average infertile would laugh me court of court if I claimed to be infertile too. Even if there were only 2, that's 1 every 9 months. But I don't feel very fertile.

Again, I don't feel as if I've had so many pregnancies and so many miscarriages - not compared to some people - some of whom seem to get pregnant really easily, perhaps that'[s how they fit in so many miscarriages? Or am I just misperceiving the time because time in my world goes slowly, but only reading their blogs it seems to go quickly in their world.

There does seem to be a dichotomy between difficulty getting pregnant and difficulty staying pregnant - I guess I do have both, but it's hard to tell how severe either one is - which will turn out to be the dominant one - will I never get pregnant again? or will I have more miscarriages? or will I be lucky?

If only I knew...