This is in response to Open Adoption Roundtable no 42.
This prompt asks:
Think about a time when your child has been injured or sick (or for adoptees, when you have been injured or sick). Did adoption change or complicate that experience at all? Did you share it with others in your adoption constellation? You might write about an actual experience you have had or think about what you ideally would want to have happen.
A couple of things spring to mind here. One of them is the risk factors we know of that Baby Spouse was subject to because of Nella's choices. We will have to tell him about these eventually, but for the moment we don't share them with family and friends - and they'll be his to share in the future - if he wants to. But medical professionals need to know, especially if he's ill, and on the occasion we went to the paediatric ward with him, it was actually a relief to tell someone, and not just hint about "lifestyle and choices". I've written about that here.
The other issue we have is the complete lack of information on his birth father. We have reasonable genetic information on his maternal birth grandparents, who are of an age when they are starting to have some medical issues (though nothing too worrying), and we know they'll keep us updated, and if Nella has an issue they know about, they'll tell us too. But we know nothing about the father's side, including things we'd like to know now, such as allergies, and that's frustrating and we've even found some less clued up medical professionals who don't understand why we don't know.