We got another email asking if our profile could be shown to an expectant couple. We said no, again! Are we mad?
If you remember, we have to use Official Hague Person as well as Nice Little Agency - we've paid a deposit with both, and we've only been "officially waiting" for 6 weeks now. OHP asked us originally if we just wanted to use them, and network ourselves. They have contacts in a variety of agencies and it was a family who are going through one of these agencies.
We reckoned however that we have not given NLA enough of a chance to search for us. We assume (I think I said this already) that they are also showing our profile to expectant parents that they do not ask us about (and the reason OHP asked us was, we think, because it's another agency rather than a parent they have direct contact with).
We did in this case, as in the other, get to see the (anonymised - though not very efficiently, ahem) profile of the expectant parents. We won't share the details either here or with our social worker, but I think we might give her a small taster of the kind of situation, and also let her know that we are having this type of enquiry - I'm not sure she'll really like it from the point of view of the whole intercountry procedure, but the way I see it, we have to have official matches notified through OHP and through our UK agency, but this is not an official match.
The way I see it, if it's a toss up between showing us some of the information unofficially, so we can say yes, no, or more information please - and showing our profile to some scared and vulnerable expectant parents, having them say yes please we like Dr and Mr Spouse, and then having us say no thanks - take the first option every time. Don't put scared and vulnerable people through indecision. It feels weird though that we are not the most scared and vulnerable people in this situation.
Anyway there were also quite a few factors that are a bit difficult to decide about - in fact, individually they would probably be just fine, it's that there were so many of them - plus some other factors that we had further questions about - so, as with our previous nibble, it is good to clarify what we'd want more information on, and good to know we are marketable.