Niggle

Phew! I feel able to blog again after being worn out with IComLeavWe!

I blogged a few weeks ago about feeling quite refreshed and able to disconnect slightly from our horrible recent history while we are in a new place. I'm not sure it's quite that simple.

Most of the bloggers I read are from the US and I think I've been able to slightly distance myself from some of their stories and paths to parenthood, it now seems a lot more immediate, since I am here too. These people have done IVF with the fanciest, most famous doctors/been prescribed weird and wonderful miscarriage-prevention regimens/adopted perfect beautiful infant children. What if this could work for us, too?

Also, I'm catching up with some old friends from when I used to work here (I arrived here 10 years ago and stayed for 2 years, yet it seems like yesterday - how did that happen?). Of course they all have (more) kids, apart from one Very Dear Friend who has stepkids, and a nephew she actually sees frequently. And - very close to the bone for me - a sister who is pregnant, I was going to say for the second time, but actually for the fifth time after 3 miscarriages and one (I think) preemie (the nephew), at risk of early labour again but still Pregnant! and nearly having A Baby!* and with clotting problems, so of course I know people will compare us, and wonder why I can't do what she did, and how on earth can I feel jealous of someone who's had 3 miscarriages? Except, fortunately, Very Dear Friend will not do this as she is a) knowledgeable and b) very dear.

And on the stepkids and nephews/nieces front - I've been watching The Starter Wife which, by the way, Fun, it's The O.C. for adults - and it occurs to me that Mr Spouse very annoyingly didn't bother with a starter wife, and kids for me to be Not-Wicked Stepmother to - he went straight to Younger Model/Grownup Wife. And how dare my brother move to another country. I'd never do - er, oops.