Friday, June 01, 2007

No-one is at home. Please leave a message after the beep.

The anaesthetic has left me tired and groggy, and the painkillers ditto - just one codeine makes me dizzy and sick, though it works, so I have been taking it at night, plus you can alternate it with NSAIDs, and I'm still quite crampy. I think it's been Mr. Spouse who has been feeling more emotional today than me, as apart from an hour or so in the middle of the night in the hospital, I haven't really been seriously crying. I think I need to be able to feel something to be able to feel sad. It is very different to the previous "natural" miscarriages (the first one was medically managed but apart from timing it was similar to a spontaneous loss).

I'm trying to make sure I have what I need for the next week or so at home but I'm also afraid I'm going to go into recovery autopilot, and just do things that pass the time without helping me feel better - I don't know if the things that made me feel better in the past will be the same ones.

Don't know if I'll describe the whole process, just salient bits, or none of it, but not just yet.

Later: Sent Mr. Spouse out for coffee, lemons to put in the G&Ts (don't worry, I won't mix them with codeine), peanut butter, and Reese's peanut butter cups. They don't have peanut butter cups in our Sainsbury's. Do they have them anywhere in the UK? I think this is a mother's-milk craving - before you could get peanut butter over here, my mother used to bring it back when we visited her parents.


susie said...

I am so sorry you're going through this. Wish I could airlift you some Reese's right now so they'd be there when you wake up tomorrow. I am thinking of you.

perceval said...

I know where to get Reese's. I'll be able to get you some in a week's time when I get back from Germany. Let me know ...