Wednesday, December 04, 2013

I need my own theme tune

Because this is getting like East Enders.

I can't sleep again (though it's only 1 am which is not too bad for me). We spoke to Nella again yesterday which led to varying accounts of the situation, the upshot of which is either a) she didn't think we were really interested in taking this baby or b) she had committed to the other couple and didn't want to let them down.  (or possibly c) she really likes drama. It turns out she was previously working with another couple who found her hard work and withdrew. I can appreciate that).

She says she'd like to switch to us, and we really have to trust that she means it - we know from our experiences with her so far that she is committed to seeing her children and to her children seeing each other. But as we said to each other, this is the risk from believing that birth parents should have choice.

But there are still hurdles. We are waiting to hear from OHP who is communicating with UK Government Department about what, exactly, we are allowed to commit to, to do and say at this stage. This may not be enough for Nella and her agency. So that (which would be a legal hurdle, we cannot change the law) could stop the whole process.

Nella needs to understand also that if (as is quite likely) there's a gap of a few weeks between the new baby being born and our paperwork swimming veeery slooowly across the Atlantic, the baby will need to be with a foster carer for that time, with us visiting.

And we need to clear the medical hurdle too, mainly Mr Spouse's - we're just hoping that one doesn't take too long, and, of course, is positive.


missohkay said...

Hmm. This whole situation is so complicated I'm not even sure what to say. I'm glad she's maybe thinking of going with you if things work out right. And I hope whatever happens, BabySpouse can know his brother/sister. Rollercoaster is starting to sound like an understatement.

Anonymous said...

Exhausting. I'm surprised you can even remember your own name. I hope you're ok (ie looking after yourself) and hope this is the beginning of something positive. How far along is she? Can you say?

Twangypearl the Elastic Girl said...

Be the living hokey, you must be tired out. Or maybe too on edge for that.

Fingers very crossed things work out. It makes sense, doesn't it, that the siblings should be together, if at all possible, and it seems Nella sees that.

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness, what a stressful mess. Posey's birthmom joked on FB the other day that she was pregnant, and both Pili and I gasped with horror.