But that doesn't mean it's all in the past. A couple of acquaintances have daughters the same age as our first child would have been. I generally forget this but occasionally they mention something which makes me think of this.
I know this is supposed to be an adoption post, and I am coming to that. We will some day need to tell our child(ren) why we don't have birth children. Obviously this will be at an age appropriate level but just like children needing to know that they are adopted, I can't see that we would conceal that we lost babies.
I feel more apprehensive about this I think, than telling him/them about their reasons for being adopted. There is some training for telling children that their birth parents couldn't look after them. I've never really discussed with anyone how to tell them that their were children before them that died - and yet it's something that parents will need to tell their birth children too. I've even even told I shouldn't be doing his, but to me, if we're open about adoption, we should be open about other things too.