Best woman (already had one kid) of my best woman (the one who has just had the miscarriage - following me?) just had twins. That's not the funny part - no doubt far from it - she found out it was twins more or less the same day my best woman found out the first ICSI didn't work.
The birth announcement includes first and middle names for both twins and I'm going to try really hard to make this non-Googleable, but when I forwarded the names to Mr Spouse his reply was:
"T'bias C'sp'r. Poor kid!"
(the girl's name wasn't quite as bad though I thought the middle name - He.tt.ie - was actually a nickname for, I think, Hester)*
"Don't be mean. Just you wait till we are fostering Chardonnay and Wayne"
"Yeah, I can just see you yelling out the back 'Chardonnay! Your dinner's ready!'"
Has a bit more street cred, don't you think, than "Hester! Toby! Your asparagus risotto is getting cold!"?
*I hate doing this but really, really don't want this Googleable!