Thursday, November 23, 2006

There’s confidence for you…

An internet friend of mine who’s been trying to get pregnant for very slightly longer than us, who is about 10 years younger but otherwise whose path pretty much mirrors ours (one miscarriage about two months after mine, at 14 weeks, one suspected miscarriage about 4 or 5 months after that, a variety of investigations which revealed nothing much except possible low ovarian reserve, but that wasn’t certain) has just announced she’s pregnant.

At 3 weeks 5 days. 9 DPO. Including her due date – and the fact that she thinks it’s actually 4 days later due to ovulating late.

OK, so I announced my last pregnancy on here at 4w3d. But not on any of the message boards I read. And I didn’t even calculate my due date – and I now deliberately don’t know it. I will allow myself to feel sad on the anniversary of finding out I was pregnant the first time, as I think it’s around then.

In our world, the last cycle is over – phew – a uterine biopsy is, well, OUCH. And DOUBLE OUCH. Followed by lots of spotting and a thankfully early period, which at least put an end to the spotting. I bought a Mooncup. I have been putting this off for ages as I thought you had to buy different ones dependent on whether you’ve had a vaginal delivery or not, but it also depends on age which affects your pelvic floor muscles. I have to say that I probably could have used the girls’ version as I do Pilates and yoga and, erm, lets just say have a busy night-time life, certainly much busier than I did before I was 30. But no matter. It is so far no more uncomfortable than a tampon (I know it’s there but it doesn’t hurt) and it is quite convenient to know it can stay there for a much longer period of time.

We took in our CRB forms this week and as far as we know it all went well, but I may have to have US clearance forms, and I had a panic when someone mentioned references from all the jobs, voluntary or otherwise, that have been with children – that would be starting with volunteering at the university playgroup when I was 19 – does it even still exist? But apparently a selection will do, so I am to make a list of the organisations that I can remember.

Reading continues, for me at least (Mr. Spouse is not such a good reader – and is also feeling a little reluctant at the moment – but I think he’ll manage to process a few selected books in the end). I’ve finished reading (or, at least, skimming) three books by Caroline Archer, which seem OK; one thing that strikes me is that they use behavioural techniques while being rather scathing about them, and trying very hard to come from a hugely psychodynamic perspective. They explain interactions in terms of psychodynamics (the one I’m reading at the moment, by Vera Fahlberg, even goes on about Freud and the Oedipal phase – I didn’t realise anyone even put that in books any more) but then suggest largely behavioural interventions for the difficulties children have – introducing things gradually, in safe and anxiety-free environments, is a staple of e.g. behavioural therapy for phobias. The other thing that slightly bugs me is that none of the interventions have in any way been proven in any kind of research trial. I’ll read on.

I’m off on my exotic trip on Tuesday – not, I have to say, as excited as I could be – the journey there will take 48 hours including a nearly-24h stopover, and Mr. Spouse can’t come. I’ll be back just before Christmas so behave yourselves while I’m gone.


Thalia said...

I hope you have a good trip.

Have read the Judith Rich Harris stuff? Basically argues that behaviour is about 50% genetics and a bit of peer pressure and that's about it, not much parents can do. Which makes no sense to me, but there you go, she lays out all the proof. What do you believe?

DrSpouse said...

I wondered what you'd been reading. I happen to have a book of hers on my desk (well, the floor around my desk) to be sent out for review but it didn't appeal sufficiently for me to read it first before sending it out. My impression on a quick flick through was that it was very irritatingly written, and not particularly scientific.

Also, she is talking about personality - I'm not sure if she is really, or just thinks she is - but for strict personality measures (basically, introversion/extraversion and stability/neuroticism) this is probably true. What makes people different from each other is so, so much more than that.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I was just checking in on you since it's been a while. I hope you are doing OK and that your trip was enjoyable.