Sunday, August 10, 2008


It was OK... we went on a slow but rambling ramble where my friend and I could hang back while the blokes charged ahead. She had her FET just over a week ago and will do her HPT (as you may know, here people don't get blood tests but are advised to do HPTs) on Friday or Saturday. Judging by the timing, it may turn out like her first cycle and she may get her period before doing the test anyway. It was partly advice, partly her exhaustion, and partly just wanting to be cautious which has caused her to take things much more easy than normal - she's usually very active and energetic. I probably couldn't have called first as they were out and about in an area with little mobile phone reception but I might try and call one evening this week just to check in again.

She asked for advice on a good adoption website. I recommended the one I often read, but suggested she not look at too many stories on the message board, but use it for factual information. I was slightly surprised they are thinking about this at this stage - it would probably be a year away for them though. They get two more fresh ICSI cycles on the NHS but only if they can fit them in before my friend turns 40 (ironically with it being a male factor problem, she's the older of the couple), and she is finding the process increasingly wearisome, so doesn't really feel they want to try a third fresh cycle privately. Although this cycle was a FET she felt it was more difficult than either of the previous ones, and she doesn't think it's going to get much better if she does any more.

I feel like I've got more to say about my friends than ourselves. Two (or more) fertility journeys for the price of one. We are gearing up for our temporary move and still wrestling with health insurance, which is incredibly complicated, partly due to our mixed citizenship situation, and may end up with enrolling Mr Spouse in a slightly dodgy way using an ITIN (a tax number for non-citizens) as he doesn't have an SSN. ITINs are not supposed to be used for identification outside the tax system but some healthcare providers use them. Sssh. We don't care if it lets him enrol.

I'm not feeling overwhelmingly positive about trying again to get pregnant, as I think I feel at the moment that our best chances of building a family are through adoption/foster care, and that pregnancy isn't going to happen, or if it does, it isn't going to go anywhere. And we can't do anything about fostering/adoption at the moment. But it is also possible I'm just a bit tired and overwhelmed. I had my bacon saved by a kind colleague - not one I'm especially best friends with, just one that happened to be in the office - when I forgot to return something from the library that has a £1 per hour fine, and blithely decided to work at home instead of going in on Friday. Things are getting on top of me.

I'm going to go and watch some mindless TV now I think.

1 comment:

TeamWinks said...

Ah yes, mindless tv cures almost everything (at least for a few moments.)

The which way to turn parts of life are the trickiest to navigate. *sigh*