I have turned into a sensitive flower

in that everything and anything seems to turn my stomach. I don't think it was a chemical pregnancy (my period started today), as I did test and it was negative (Of course I tested! Who do you think I am! Even though I said I wouldn't till my mother, who is busy being a drama queen at our house for a change, left). Perhaps it is the homeopathic medicine. Perhaps I should stop taking it, as it suggests in their leaflet, and start drinking coffee again. Hmmm.

I think it's probably accurate to say that I have rarely been more relieved to have my period, but that does not really convey the very very low amount of relief that conveys. In fact I am desperate to be pregnant and very sad that I'm not.

But for a change I can see some good things about not being pregnant - I really don't want to slow down at work, as for a change I am getting some serious stuff done, not just staring out of the window and surfing t'internet. I think I've lost a little weight (am doing the Paul McKenna trying to eat slowly till you're full, thing, but not the crazy pseudoscience tapping thing, thank you, but I can see the sense of not weighing myself just yet) and it would be good for me to carry that on. I've climbed two more big hills, I don't really feel like starting running again but I actually feel like I have some energy and I do seriously think this is contributing to my relatively good mood, so I don't want to have to stop that either. And I have a few short trips lined up - London this weekend, a conference in Germany in a couple of weeks, and the South of France in September.

But I don't think any of this is enough, sadly, to stop me wanting to get pregnant. If I didn't want to it would be a lot easier.