Friday, October 20, 2006

Chances are...

we will not be getting pregnant on our own, given these calculations, which don’t even take into account my previous miscarriages as a risk factor. I suppose I could restart the clock at the last, surgically assisted, pregnancy, and estimate about a 25% chance of pregnancy (6 months trying rather than a year) with a 40%-ish chance of keeping it making maybe 10% chance of one live birth in the next 4 years.

We were discussing this today after our adoption meeting where the SW was probing about how far we felt we’d gone with having a biological child, what we felt about using contraception, etc. I said I felt that we were being told we had a really low chance, and there was no treatment they could give, by the gynaes, and also (if she was any good at reading between the lines) that once we were matched, or had a newly placed child, that like with a birth child we would use contraception as we would want a gap between the arrival of children as any parents would. I do not honestly feel I could say we’d use contraception now (though Mr. Spouse and I are not quite on the same page on this one, as he is now very keen to Get On With It and afraid another miscarriage would set us back for too long, I am a glutton for punishment and feel I could cope with maybe one more…)

Of course the whole interview this morning was not about this. There was a lot more (including, inevitably, Madonna, but I brought my own twist onto this, I thought, with my observation – a major problem I have about overseas adoptions – that they would not be able to have any kind of developmental assessment to get an idea of any difficulties little David might have). Still processing. Output from program may or may not appear here in the next few days.

I think the order of the process is rather different between different agencies, but they sounded like they would be happy to find us a social worker for January, and a place on their February preparation course which, miracle of miracles, does not clash with any of my work commitments. We now have to forewarn our referees…

2 comments:

Thalia said...

I'm really encouraged by this - it sounds like the meeting went fine, and not too scary. I also think it's better that you were honest about your use of contraception now rather than trying to gloss over it.

perceval said...

fantastic - sounds like things are moving along, and that something constructive is happening.