Baby Spouse is 12 weeks old today - just under 9 weeks corrected. This feels like a milestone, I think partly because of the whole 12 weeks of pregnancy before exhaling a little that I never got to, and partly because he has more jabs tomorrow (we have Calpol, we have also got a new medication pacifier as even administering Calpol in the middle of a feed didn't work too well last time).
Things I have done more of than I thought I would in the last 12 weeks:
Walking (not just because we don't drive much here, but because it's a good way to get out of the house without going mad - I'm a keen hiker and am looking out for buggy- and sling-friendly walks to do).
Drinking diet Coke and Pepsi Max - I think I must drink these a lot at work, or coffee from the convenient coffee bar 2 floors down from my office, and I only notice this now I'm at home a lot.
Reading work emails.
Making stuff.
Cooking (partly because of Mr Spouse's complete lack of availability to pull his weight in all departments, which means we've prioritised him playing with and caring for Baby Spouse, and partly because there is very little in the way of takeaway available here, and we don't like ready meals).
Things I have done less of than I thought:
Drinking coffee - I have managed to avoid making and drinking a second pot of coffee every day like I thought I would. Partly because of the soft drink habit, but also because I'm not completely shattered every single day.
Watching TV (I have done a lot, it has to be said, but most of that was done while I was still away).
Putting Baby Spouse in and out of the car seat (see above, but it's also been partly because I haven't run out of places to go that I don't need to drive to. I suspect I'm going to need to adjust the straps when I put him in next).
Things that have been about what I thought:
Running (except for the part where I had the worst sore throat in the history of throats, I have been out about once a week).
Going to the supermarket (I've managed to go either quickly in and out, or without Baby Spouse, or Mr Spouse has gone, or I've ordered on line. Hooray!)
I also seem to have developed some OCD habits which is very very unlike me. Making up formula is something that's bound to involve little rituals, and there are some routines that, done wrong, mean you have to start again, but I seem to have extended this to things like making coffee, washing my hands, my morning bathroom routine, putting things away the minute I get in the house. It is a bit tidier than it normally is in our house. I'm not sure anyone else would really notice, though, or that it will remain that way.
You're probably much more interested in what Baby Spouse has done a lot of, or not much of. He is still a fairly good sleeper but we're hoping now might be the time to persuade him that his longest spell between night feeds could be longer than 4 hours. He has had a couple of days when he's decided naps are for wimps, but he generally sleeps for at least half an hour between each of his daytime feeds. His latest trick is waving his arms around randomly and then looking very excited when he sees his toys move. I am not completely convinced this is deliberate but I think deliberate batting is close and grasping can't be far away. He's a good feeder but I think he's going down to around the 50th-60th centile for his corrected age. People still say "oh he's big for X weeks" meaning his chronological age, when he's actually around the 20th centile for that. He's generally a very polite baby and smacks his lips when he feels it is time for us to pay attention and provide food - including at night - but screaming is also in evidence, more than it used to be as well.
I had to ring the nursery where Baby Spouse will likely go in the autumn, to ask about registration, and I was a little sad. Almost as sad as when they said "he has to go to the NICU and if his breathing doesn't improve he'll have to stay a week". They asked if we'd been to look round and I had to confess I hadn't. I didn't say "because I'm in denial that he'll be ever going there".
Monday, March 26, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
What I did for Mothering Sunday
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.
Yep that's right, sod all.
And happy about it.
You remember when you were single, and Valentine's Day felt like a kick in the teeth, and then you met your partner, and it now was a day when you felt obliged to buy a card, and a present, and book an overpriced meal, and also remember what it felt like to be on the outside looking in? Yes, that.
I feel there will be time enough for painted handprints and plastic gifts when Baby Spouse is in nursery.
Yesterday Mr Spouse visited his mother in hospital, and she seemed to be aware that he was there, and to recognise him. And I read a version of this in a book.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Yep that's right, sod all.
And happy about it.
You remember when you were single, and Valentine's Day felt like a kick in the teeth, and then you met your partner, and it now was a day when you felt obliged to buy a card, and a present, and book an overpriced meal, and also remember what it felt like to be on the outside looking in? Yes, that.
I feel there will be time enough for painted handprints and plastic gifts when Baby Spouse is in nursery.
Yesterday Mr Spouse visited his mother in hospital, and she seemed to be aware that he was there, and to recognise him. And I read a version of this in a book.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Comments
Written in response to OA Roundtable #35
My mother came to stay last weekend. Baby Spouse has in the way of grandparents: my mother, my father (not at the same address for many a year), my mother-in-law (who had just we think grasped that there is a baby but where and whose baby may not have sunk in, when she was admitted to hospital following a stroke), and Nella's parents who I have already blogged about, plus we know of at least a grandfather on his birth father's side. As we are pretty certain he will not have long with Mr Spouse's mother, and as there is as many people say, no such thing as too many loving relatives, we are very happy that we look to be getting some kind of long term relationship with Nella's parents. We suspect that our next monthly phone call with Nella will be via them.
My mother had already bagsied Granny as that's what she is called by my nieces, which wouldn't have been my choice but she got in first, so MIL is Grandma. I had feared the worst with my mother, that she would work on the assumption that Baby Spouse was not a "real" grandchild, but she is besotted with him, and does exactly what every other grandmother seems to do, i.e. pick him up every 5 seconds "because he's crying" when he's actually fussing himself to sleep. I was quite proud of myself that I gritted my teeth and told myself "it's just for the weekend" and didn't pick her up on it. It should get easier when he is older and on more of a schedule, anyway. My father, despite initial apparent lukewarmness, responded to a pointed hint that he only has ONE grandson and that not making a plan to come and visit will lead to him not seeing Baby Spouse before he is huge, and also that we'd really like X gift thank you, has purchased the gift and promised a visit in about a month.
I had two very contrasting comments recently about adoption, one from my mother, and one from a friend.
My work friends and their connections (at least, those who know he is adopted, as the friends of friends don't all) have been mildly curious but restrained while being positive. These are all polite, well-educated, and restrained people. Unlike my family...
My mother has been incredibly nosy, and I am afraid I react badly to that. She has asked various questions which are either a) no-one's business but ours and Baby Spouse's (e.g. medical issues) or b) something I could speculate about and will do with Mr Spouse but not with anyone else (e.g. why he was premature) or c) something we could share in limited amounts but we will do ourselves at a point when Baby Spouse has already been given the information (e.g. birth siblings). Her excuse for asking some of the questions was "but N1 and N2 will ask". My nieces, like other children, will not even dream that a baby living with us could have a complicated set of birth siblings living elsewhere. If she wants to satisfy her own curiosity, I wish she'd just say so. I am planning to tell my brother, though, that if they have questions, please to ask me directly, not via my mother. But the comment that I know all adoptive parents hear, which my mother made, was "oh he's so lucky to have you". I pointed out (again, I'm afraid, very forcefully) that it is never lucky to need to be adopted, and that we are lucky to have him.
We say this a lot, and some people hear this as "he's such a quiet baby", some as "it's great that we could have him placed with us while he's so young" and only some as "we are blessed to have a child". If she says this again, I know I'll need to ask whether she'd say it to my nieces, and point out we don't want him to grow up hearing this and thinking he needs to be grateful. The other point she tried to labour and did not seem to understand at all, even though we tried to explain, was that we want him to meet his birth family again and grow up knowing them. She has already asked "what's the latest thinking" on this and I have told her it is that contact is good, but she doesn't seem able to accept this, she seems to think that he'll be confused and worry that he'll go back to live with them.
The other friend is not originally British and in her religion adoption does not work the same as it does under many European countries' laws. She said something which I think will be uncommon for comments I would get here, as voluntary placement of babies is so rare here - that she couldn't understand how someone could "give up their baby". I'm not sure if she didn't realise at all that children cannot always stay with their birth parents even if the parents wish that, or if she assumed this would not apply to a newborn. But I think she understood when I said "there was no way Baby Spouse could stay with his birth parents, so that's very sad, but we are very lucky to have him".
I am much more able to be understanding about unhelpful attitudes and terminology in friends than in family - family push your buttons, and you can't get rid of them so easily. My friend asked if we'd met "his mother" but I think this was just because she could not work out how to refer to Nella, and when we said we'd met birth mother and birth grandparents, this seemed to make sense to her, and I think partly because of her religious concept of adoption, she seemed to understand more than my mother, that it is important to retain links with birth family. Mr Spouse says my mother is just not thinking about it, so I guess I'm going to have to work out a way to get her to think about it, without strangling her.
My mother came to stay last weekend. Baby Spouse has in the way of grandparents: my mother, my father (not at the same address for many a year), my mother-in-law (who had just we think grasped that there is a baby but where and whose baby may not have sunk in, when she was admitted to hospital following a stroke), and Nella's parents who I have already blogged about, plus we know of at least a grandfather on his birth father's side. As we are pretty certain he will not have long with Mr Spouse's mother, and as there is as many people say, no such thing as too many loving relatives, we are very happy that we look to be getting some kind of long term relationship with Nella's parents. We suspect that our next monthly phone call with Nella will be via them.
My mother had already bagsied Granny as that's what she is called by my nieces, which wouldn't have been my choice but she got in first, so MIL is Grandma. I had feared the worst with my mother, that she would work on the assumption that Baby Spouse was not a "real" grandchild, but she is besotted with him, and does exactly what every other grandmother seems to do, i.e. pick him up every 5 seconds "because he's crying" when he's actually fussing himself to sleep. I was quite proud of myself that I gritted my teeth and told myself "it's just for the weekend" and didn't pick her up on it. It should get easier when he is older and on more of a schedule, anyway. My father, despite initial apparent lukewarmness, responded to a pointed hint that he only has ONE grandson and that not making a plan to come and visit will lead to him not seeing Baby Spouse before he is huge, and also that we'd really like X gift thank you, has purchased the gift and promised a visit in about a month.
I had two very contrasting comments recently about adoption, one from my mother, and one from a friend.
My work friends and their connections (at least, those who know he is adopted, as the friends of friends don't all) have been mildly curious but restrained while being positive. These are all polite, well-educated, and restrained people. Unlike my family...
My mother has been incredibly nosy, and I am afraid I react badly to that. She has asked various questions which are either a) no-one's business but ours and Baby Spouse's (e.g. medical issues) or b) something I could speculate about and will do with Mr Spouse but not with anyone else (e.g. why he was premature) or c) something we could share in limited amounts but we will do ourselves at a point when Baby Spouse has already been given the information (e.g. birth siblings). Her excuse for asking some of the questions was "but N1 and N2 will ask". My nieces, like other children, will not even dream that a baby living with us could have a complicated set of birth siblings living elsewhere. If she wants to satisfy her own curiosity, I wish she'd just say so. I am planning to tell my brother, though, that if they have questions, please to ask me directly, not via my mother. But the comment that I know all adoptive parents hear, which my mother made, was "oh he's so lucky to have you". I pointed out (again, I'm afraid, very forcefully) that it is never lucky to need to be adopted, and that we are lucky to have him.
We say this a lot, and some people hear this as "he's such a quiet baby", some as "it's great that we could have him placed with us while he's so young" and only some as "we are blessed to have a child". If she says this again, I know I'll need to ask whether she'd say it to my nieces, and point out we don't want him to grow up hearing this and thinking he needs to be grateful. The other point she tried to labour and did not seem to understand at all, even though we tried to explain, was that we want him to meet his birth family again and grow up knowing them. She has already asked "what's the latest thinking" on this and I have told her it is that contact is good, but she doesn't seem able to accept this, she seems to think that he'll be confused and worry that he'll go back to live with them.
The other friend is not originally British and in her religion adoption does not work the same as it does under many European countries' laws. She said something which I think will be uncommon for comments I would get here, as voluntary placement of babies is so rare here - that she couldn't understand how someone could "give up their baby". I'm not sure if she didn't realise at all that children cannot always stay with their birth parents even if the parents wish that, or if she assumed this would not apply to a newborn. But I think she understood when I said "there was no way Baby Spouse could stay with his birth parents, so that's very sad, but we are very lucky to have him".
I am much more able to be understanding about unhelpful attitudes and terminology in friends than in family - family push your buttons, and you can't get rid of them so easily. My friend asked if we'd met "his mother" but I think this was just because she could not work out how to refer to Nella, and when we said we'd met birth mother and birth grandparents, this seemed to make sense to her, and I think partly because of her religious concept of adoption, she seemed to understand more than my mother, that it is important to retain links with birth family. Mr Spouse says my mother is just not thinking about it, so I guess I'm going to have to work out a way to get her to think about it, without strangling her.
Wednesday, March 07, 2012
How I became a hippy
First it was recycling. We do try to recycle and we did this even before it was common in our area; I am pretty sure I did this when you had to take your paper to the distant paper bank. We do live in a very "green" town and we have a precursor to Freecycle which allows you to barter your unwanted goods - current rate is half a dozen cupcakes for 5 or 6 used washable nappies.
Then it was Ecover, which I actually discovered through a rather roundabout route via Greek powdered bleach (don't ask) - we now have our own Ecover bulk size hand wash and washing up liquid containers. We moved on to Ecoballs and I've had a ceiling drying rack for ages (which is not only less in the way than a floor rack but also dries things quicker, probably because it's higher up - though Mr Spouse loves his tumble dried towels). We worked out how much more energy we were using by running the dishwasher at its highest temperature to sterilise bottles (not much) but we have found we run out of bottles really quickly so we did end up buying an electric steriliser (but it also doesn't use much electricity).
So it was pretty much inevitable that we'd give reusable nappies a go. Some of the reasons these might not be very eco friendly are that you use lots of washing powder and water (we use the eco balls, and this means you can skip most of the rinse cycle if you are paying attention), petrol if you use a nappy service (frankly we would use one but there are none here), and tumble drying (the kind of nappies we have can't be tumble dried).
And then there's slings. I have 7 in the house at the moment. One is dangerous, one impossible to use, two are more or less identical (but the original Moby I bought has its uses) and one slips down every time I use it - but the remaining two now are invaluable, one for "I won't stop screaming unless you carry me Mummy and I know you have to make dinner/tidy up/do something else with two hands but I don't care", and the other for out and about without straining back/losing baby/not being able to climb steps.
I met up with some other parents who use slings recently, though, and I have to say it was a tiny bit scary. Though I think using a sling is eminently sensible (to me, it's just "the way most mothers I used to know carry their babies" as I knew a far larger group of mothers overseas before I ever had friends who were mothers here or in the US), I don't really regard it as a way of life. And of course everyone is breastfeeding and sharing the family bed (contraindicated for premature babies, those not breastfeeding, and those without a husband willing to sacrifice the entire bedroom to an 8ft bed).
So it is at this point that I gracefully step back and go to my spreadsheet of childcare costs and we decide that our sanity is worth having a cleaner.
Who came today for the first time and of course looked at our Ecover products and asked "so, are you vegetarian too?".
Then it was Ecover, which I actually discovered through a rather roundabout route via Greek powdered bleach (don't ask) - we now have our own Ecover bulk size hand wash and washing up liquid containers. We moved on to Ecoballs and I've had a ceiling drying rack for ages (which is not only less in the way than a floor rack but also dries things quicker, probably because it's higher up - though Mr Spouse loves his tumble dried towels). We worked out how much more energy we were using by running the dishwasher at its highest temperature to sterilise bottles (not much) but we have found we run out of bottles really quickly so we did end up buying an electric steriliser (but it also doesn't use much electricity).
So it was pretty much inevitable that we'd give reusable nappies a go. Some of the reasons these might not be very eco friendly are that you use lots of washing powder and water (we use the eco balls, and this means you can skip most of the rinse cycle if you are paying attention), petrol if you use a nappy service (frankly we would use one but there are none here), and tumble drying (the kind of nappies we have can't be tumble dried).
And then there's slings. I have 7 in the house at the moment. One is dangerous, one impossible to use, two are more or less identical (but the original Moby I bought has its uses) and one slips down every time I use it - but the remaining two now are invaluable, one for "I won't stop screaming unless you carry me Mummy and I know you have to make dinner/tidy up/do something else with two hands but I don't care", and the other for out and about without straining back/losing baby/not being able to climb steps.
I met up with some other parents who use slings recently, though, and I have to say it was a tiny bit scary. Though I think using a sling is eminently sensible (to me, it's just "the way most mothers I used to know carry their babies" as I knew a far larger group of mothers overseas before I ever had friends who were mothers here or in the US), I don't really regard it as a way of life. And of course everyone is breastfeeding and sharing the family bed (contraindicated for premature babies, those not breastfeeding, and those without a husband willing to sacrifice the entire bedroom to an 8ft bed).
So it is at this point that I gracefully step back and go to my spreadsheet of childcare costs and we decide that our sanity is worth having a cleaner.
Who came today for the first time and of course looked at our Ecover products and asked "so, are you vegetarian too?".
Monday, February 27, 2012
Bringing it back
It is true what they say, that you don't magically cease to be infertile (or, though this is a bit more obvious since it is a historical fact, to be the parent of children who have died) once you become the parent of a living child (a very cute living child currently wearing a Small Paul t-shirt, $2 in the resale shop thank you very much, and throwing up over his Moses basket sheet, and yes I am supposed to be changing his sheet, not blogging in my pyjamas).
It seems to have hit Mr Spouse more than me, just now, as confronted with the reality of a baby (in fact, besotted with the reality of a baby, it is so sweet to watch him!). He was contemplating how many children we in fact would have had if either NigelandDelia or Sproutetta had been born, and the fact that probably Baby Spouse would not have been here in that case. I wondered whether even if we'd had NigelandDelia, we might have had the subsequent problems anyway, and as it was so many years down the line, perhaps Baby Spouse (in some incarnation) might also have been added to our family.
I had said when I got my implant, and I had continued to say, both to Mr Spouse and the GP, that an early removal might be on the cards if we had a baby in the house, and he (Mr Spouse) was much happier with the idea of trying to get pregnant (again, at my vastly advanced age) after we had a baby than while still waiting for one. At the time he said that he thought I'd be able to cope better with another miscarriage if we have a baby we are parenting, and I think he's right. But he's not sure he can cope with more of that. I don't feel discussions are closed on that (but I also don't feel ready to have the implant taken out yet, either).
I really hate that we have an eight week old baby and we already need to think about whether and how we might have a second child. But time is ticking both for any magical pregnancy and also for adoption (while I'd love to have a grown up five year old to help with a new baby, that's not as likely to be practical from the point of view of, well, all kinds of stuff, though it might turn out that way). Mr Spouse originally said we might think about adopting a second but it would definitely be an older baby or toddler, i.e. free. But I'm not sure if he'll change his mind on that one, seeing how besotted he is (see: very sweet to watch). He is quite realistic about the fact that we have an easy baby and we might easily not have such an easy baby another time. He's an only child, and sees advantages and disadvantages of this for Baby Spouse.
In other random facts, we have worked out it costs £2 more to run our diswasher daily on the highest temperature setting. Per month, that is. I am fairly pleased to realise this as I have been avoiding buying a steriliser on the grounds that the kitchen is already crammed with useless stuff.
And finally a random question for Blogger users. How the H E Double Hockey Sticks (as they say on Big Love) do you make it start each post in the font you've asked for??!
It seems to have hit Mr Spouse more than me, just now, as confronted with the reality of a baby (in fact, besotted with the reality of a baby, it is so sweet to watch him!). He was contemplating how many children we in fact would have had if either NigelandDelia or Sproutetta had been born, and the fact that probably Baby Spouse would not have been here in that case. I wondered whether even if we'd had NigelandDelia, we might have had the subsequent problems anyway, and as it was so many years down the line, perhaps Baby Spouse (in some incarnation) might also have been added to our family.
I had said when I got my implant, and I had continued to say, both to Mr Spouse and the GP, that an early removal might be on the cards if we had a baby in the house, and he (Mr Spouse) was much happier with the idea of trying to get pregnant (again, at my vastly advanced age) after we had a baby than while still waiting for one. At the time he said that he thought I'd be able to cope better with another miscarriage if we have a baby we are parenting, and I think he's right. But he's not sure he can cope with more of that. I don't feel discussions are closed on that (but I also don't feel ready to have the implant taken out yet, either).
I really hate that we have an eight week old baby and we already need to think about whether and how we might have a second child. But time is ticking both for any magical pregnancy and also for adoption (while I'd love to have a grown up five year old to help with a new baby, that's not as likely to be practical from the point of view of, well, all kinds of stuff, though it might turn out that way). Mr Spouse originally said we might think about adopting a second but it would definitely be an older baby or toddler, i.e. free. But I'm not sure if he'll change his mind on that one, seeing how besotted he is (see: very sweet to watch). He is quite realistic about the fact that we have an easy baby and we might easily not have such an easy baby another time. He's an only child, and sees advantages and disadvantages of this for Baby Spouse.
In other random facts, we have worked out it costs £2 more to run our diswasher daily on the highest temperature setting. Per month, that is. I am fairly pleased to realise this as I have been avoiding buying a steriliser on the grounds that the kitchen is already crammed with useless stuff.
And finally a random question for Blogger users. How the H E Double Hockey Sticks (as they say on Big Love) do you make it start each post in the font you've asked for??!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
They do have their uses
Baby Spouse does find, especially if he's in a sling, that my 34Es are jolly useful for holding his pacifier in. And keeping his hands warm.
Although I am pretty sure those in the know, here, will not be asking why I am not breastfeeding, there has been the odd smug comment (can't possibly leave the year-old baby with husband for more than a couple of hours because he doesn't have the required anatomy - which will also be mildly irritating to the colleague who knows this person, is breastfeeding, but desperately needs to start full time work in about six weeks as her husband has lost his job...), and I've yet to meet any new random groups of mums that are not friends of friends that therefore know the full story.
Fortunately because adoption of a baby is so rare here, no-one will have a friend of a friend of a friend who adopted and fed her baby entirely by breastfeeding and found it so easy and fulfilling. I also strongly suspect that Baby Spouse would have been sucking his thumbs or a pacifier from day 3, when he discovered said thumbs fit nicely in his mouth, however he was fed. So the "my baby's never had a dummy" brigade will be told they are just lucky.
But I did have occasion to ring up a colleague (who actually knows a lot about social care as her work is on that end of the spectrum of what I do), to talk about a project we need to get done in the next few months, for which I'll arrange some child care, and then work will owe me a day or three when I go back properly, which is fine by me. She said "oh, you won't be breastfeeding, will you, so someone else can care for the baby". Well yes, but it is not easy to find "someone else" who is not Baby Spouse's father and who will be able to take over a whole day, or three, of care, and although he may not need my actual anatomy every two hours, he still needs a knowledgable caring adult to produce feed and change him about every three hours, and preferably, some days, to sit on the sofa cuddling him most of the rest of the time.
In other news, our county council social work department are useless, but we knew that. They legally had to come and visit us within 7 days of Thursday last week, but only thought about this, and about not having anyone spare to do this (well, except for the whole team of social workers 10 minutes walk from our house) on Tuesday. So they are going to pay our own very nice social worker from our agency to do this, so we'll see her every 6 weeks, but that is fine, she doesn't even drink tea or eat cake so we don't need to get anything special in for her. She came today at very short notice, because legally she had to, and she is of course in love with the baby (especially his very fat nappy).
We also are in love with the baby, though Mr Spouse less so with his nappy (it's fat because we're trying reusables - we were given a large stock by a friend). What I am not in love with is Mr Spouse's crazy business school coursework schedule, he has been very good about doing overnight feeds, but although I know this will get better shortly, I really don't want to be the "expert" and do everything my way without him knowing how it's done, and therefore have him in a few weeks' time when he has his evenings free, not know what he's doing and therefore leave it to me because it's easier that way for both of us.
Although I am pretty sure those in the know, here, will not be asking why I am not breastfeeding, there has been the odd smug comment (can't possibly leave the year-old baby with husband for more than a couple of hours because he doesn't have the required anatomy - which will also be mildly irritating to the colleague who knows this person, is breastfeeding, but desperately needs to start full time work in about six weeks as her husband has lost his job...), and I've yet to meet any new random groups of mums that are not friends of friends that therefore know the full story.
Fortunately because adoption of a baby is so rare here, no-one will have a friend of a friend of a friend who adopted and fed her baby entirely by breastfeeding and found it so easy and fulfilling. I also strongly suspect that Baby Spouse would have been sucking his thumbs or a pacifier from day 3, when he discovered said thumbs fit nicely in his mouth, however he was fed. So the "my baby's never had a dummy" brigade will be told they are just lucky.
But I did have occasion to ring up a colleague (who actually knows a lot about social care as her work is on that end of the spectrum of what I do), to talk about a project we need to get done in the next few months, for which I'll arrange some child care, and then work will owe me a day or three when I go back properly, which is fine by me. She said "oh, you won't be breastfeeding, will you, so someone else can care for the baby". Well yes, but it is not easy to find "someone else" who is not Baby Spouse's father and who will be able to take over a whole day, or three, of care, and although he may not need my actual anatomy every two hours, he still needs a knowledgable caring adult to produce feed and change him about every three hours, and preferably, some days, to sit on the sofa cuddling him most of the rest of the time.
In other news, our county council social work department are useless, but we knew that. They legally had to come and visit us within 7 days of Thursday last week, but only thought about this, and about not having anyone spare to do this (well, except for the whole team of social workers 10 minutes walk from our house) on Tuesday. So they are going to pay our own very nice social worker from our agency to do this, so we'll see her every 6 weeks, but that is fine, she doesn't even drink tea or eat cake so we don't need to get anything special in for her. She came today at very short notice, because legally she had to, and she is of course in love with the baby (especially his very fat nappy).
We also are in love with the baby, though Mr Spouse less so with his nappy (it's fat because we're trying reusables - we were given a large stock by a friend). What I am not in love with is Mr Spouse's crazy business school coursework schedule, he has been very good about doing overnight feeds, but although I know this will get better shortly, I really don't want to be the "expert" and do everything my way without him knowing how it's done, and therefore have him in a few weeks' time when he has his evenings free, not know what he's doing and therefore leave it to me because it's easier that way for both of us.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Did you know...
... being a parent means never having to buy anything for the baby. Except formula. Well, almost. We have been given almost everything so far, including far far too many 0-3 month babygros (I did say, but a friend sent me about 100. I am not kidding). I think she had too many anyway, but her baby slept in them, and Baby Spouse is an elasticated nightgown guy. He has this (a gift, from the friend who has lent us a cot bed, a buggy, and an entire infanthood supply of reusable nappies):
which Mr Spouse says is his Harry Potter outfit.
I advertised the babygros on our local Freecycle equivalent (it's slightly different, and predates Freecycle by quite some time) and someone with a baby due in July wants to come round and get some. Can I face a bouncy, second trimester, pregnant lady? I may have to be about to go out and not enter into conversation.
which Mr Spouse says is his Harry Potter outfit.
I advertised the babygros on our local Freecycle equivalent (it's slightly different, and predates Freecycle by quite some time) and someone with a baby due in July wants to come round and get some. Can I face a bouncy, second trimester, pregnant lady? I may have to be about to go out and not enter into conversation.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Phew
Home at last. Got back yesterday and had a bad night with jetlag, Mr Spouse being unwell, and Baby Spouse not synching with us. But I managed to make it out of the house and make a new mummy friend - the family across the road have an 11 month old with an equally "unusual" name. She seems to know everyone in the street, and has invited me to go out on Friday with her, colleague with very prem girl (who told me about this family) , and wife of That Wasn't Awkward colleague, who has a baby too. I like the new neighbour and these are all "in the know" but all of these children will be at school with Baby Spouse and I just don't know how much of his story he will want to share when he is older.
Tuesday, February 07, 2012
And I forgot...
to mention the doctor's appointment last week. Health and growth wise, Baby Spouse is getting chubby in exactly the way he should be - he has almost added 50% to his birth weight in a month. He didn't even scream much when he had his jab. We got the medical information we were waiting for from the hospital he was born in, which was more what we feared than what we hoped. We were told at the time of his birth that if this was the case, it would probably already have had an effect, and there was no evidence it had. So we think that it's probably something eventually we'll need to tell Baby Spouse, but that won't affect him long term. But it was a piece of information that showed that Nella had not been anywhere near as open as we had hoped; but it ties in with something that her parents had sent us in a rather nice email after we met last week.
This did not place me in a particularly good mood for our monthly phone call with Nella which was due the same day. However, I was polite, she called on time, on the right day, and it's all been quiet since then. Let's hope it continues like this. We have one final legal i to dot on the birth father side and I'm hoping after that to ask Nella if she might have a picture of him (he's not her favourite person, with some justification, so I've been waiting till all the loose ends are tied in case asking her this led to her being mad at him and him then being mad at her and therefore being mad at us/the social worker/the agency).
This did not place me in a particularly good mood for our monthly phone call with Nella which was due the same day. However, I was polite, she called on time, on the right day, and it's all been quiet since then. Let's hope it continues like this. We have one final legal i to dot on the birth father side and I'm hoping after that to ask Nella if she might have a picture of him (he's not her favourite person, with some justification, so I've been waiting till all the loose ends are tied in case asking her this led to her being mad at him and him then being mad at her and therefore being mad at us/the social worker/the agency).
Monday, February 06, 2012
One thing that pleases me
is when people can't work out if Baby Spouse is a boy or a girl, so use no pronoun when asking about him. I did dress him in blue today and three people asked me about him, one of whom said "he". I've bought yarn for three wool sweaters (it's now chillier here, after a few days of 70+F weather, and although our particular rainy part of England hasn't seen snow, it will definitely be chilly there)... in red, a lilac mix, and green.
In other news, I am ready to throttle anyone associated with the UK Border Agency. Mr Spouse has our MP on speed dial. I could go into great detail but I'm saving my between-feed-change-and-knitting typing time for emailing persons associated with the UKBA, in a tone of politely clenched teeth.
In other news, I am ready to throttle anyone associated with the UK Border Agency. Mr Spouse has our MP on speed dial. I could go into great detail but I'm saving my between-feed-change-and-knitting typing time for emailing persons associated with the UKBA, in a tone of politely clenched teeth.
Thursday, February 02, 2012
In which I take to drink
Everyone is doing their best to take care of me and I am making sure that I get out of the house at least once a day. Today's is a well baby appointment, which should include getting the results back of two tests, one of which will be a tick-box-he's-fine they do on all babies here, and one of which might be a bit more worrying if it reveals something we have a slight suspicion of, based on some information revealed immediately after he was born; and which will also include a booster jab for something babies don't get given in the UK, so it's probably good to get it sorted out here.
But the visa situation is beyond complicated, the right hand doesn't even know that the left hand exists, we can't have the type of visa that everyone else has been given, they haven't heard of the type we know we are supposed to get (it's really worrying when you know immigration law better than the people who work for the Border Agency).
If nothing happens by later today I am going to ring up the consulate and pretend I have been arrested (this is the only way to speak to a person, apparently).
Unfortunately as I can't go for a run, and there are lots of fattening foods available, some of them in the convenience store next door to the apartment, this is not going to be good for my waistline. I also discovered they sell Smirnoff and Cranberry (very reasonably priced too), so I decided that I needed to watch Unforgettable and eat chips (they do constitute dinner, if you also have a mango and some cottage cheese, don't they?), and that if Baby Spouse spiked a fever in the middle of the night I'd have to call 911.
But the visa situation is beyond complicated, the right hand doesn't even know that the left hand exists, we can't have the type of visa that everyone else has been given, they haven't heard of the type we know we are supposed to get (it's really worrying when you know immigration law better than the people who work for the Border Agency).
If nothing happens by later today I am going to ring up the consulate and pretend I have been arrested (this is the only way to speak to a person, apparently).
Unfortunately as I can't go for a run, and there are lots of fattening foods available, some of them in the convenience store next door to the apartment, this is not going to be good for my waistline. I also discovered they sell Smirnoff and Cranberry (very reasonably priced too), so I decided that I needed to watch Unforgettable and eat chips (they do constitute dinner, if you also have a mango and some cottage cheese, don't they?), and that if Baby Spouse spiked a fever in the middle of the night I'd have to call 911.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Home alone
Or not home, as the case may be. Mr Spouse went home yesterday, and two night time feedings are more than twice as tiring when you don't have anyone to share them with. I am aware that we are very lucky it's only two.
Everyone is taking care of me though, I'm at the foster carer's house for dinner, and tomorrow I'm meeting the adoptive parents my friend introduced me to, again.
I have a few bits and pieces of paperwork to get done - I just picked out the ten photos the agency gets us to print for the first month, and written a draft of a letter for N to put in her scrap book. We have another well baby appointment on Thurs, and I'm thinking about going to a Mommy Matinee.
The visa agents have a status check facility on their website, and we were pleased to see the paperwork not only arrived at their offices but was sent to the embassy. We were very surprised to see an estimated back-in-office time of next Weds later in the day. We'll believe it when we see it, but perhaps Mr Spouse's obsessive form-filling side has helped. We actually have one supposedly essential piece of paper missing, which we cannot get, though we got a court order to circumvent this. So we are crossing our fingers they noticed this already and don't mind, rather than that didn't notice and are going to object when they do.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Moving
In my Google Reader feed I have categories of Adoption, Parents, Infertility/Loss and also UK (which is where I look first in case you are interested) as well as other categories for non-IAL blogs (though non IAL parents go in Parents too).
I just added the category Parents to my feed.
I just added the category Parents to my feed.
This is going to get confusing
I may need some new pseudonyms.
We met N today (let's call her Nella, nothing like her real name but also not close to any of the other Ns involved in the situation!) and had a social afternoon, then met her parents and her daughter that lives with them. I'll think up some pseudonyms for them later if I need them I think.
Nella shed a few tears, but I think appreciated the visit, and we have heard from several other adoptive families that this is an unusual time to have a visit, and that many birth parents want a break but come back for visits later, so I do think she was brave to do it now since she knows she can't see him for another year at least, now.
The daughter (let's call her Montana) is in her teens, and had a nice time holding the baby, and trying to feed and burp him (it was lovely actually that all the adults present could tell her it was OK to bang his back a bit harder! Nella and I also bonded over telling a random man in a diner that no, he could NOT hold the baby. Sheesh.)
All in all it was good, we got some great photos, and we gave them the written (but legally unenforceable) open adoption agreement that Nella had asked for. I am coming round to the idea that she has some fairly major educational difficulties as she got her dad to read it for her, plus another comment she made about looking for work; he suggested some helpful ideas on visits which I think he would not have suggested had we not met, and he also (I think it's OK to give more details now) asked if we'd like to get photos of her older son, who was removed through Child Protective Services and has been adopted, to which we said, yes please.
One issue which we think she did not notice, or she would have objected to, was the means and timing of contact which we'd suggested in our agreement. Because of the crisis she was having, Nella called us almost every day in the two-three weeks leading up to his birth, and almost every day since then too. We aren't really sure we want to carry on having calls that often, and we have a number that can be diverted to voicemail which she uses, and we think we will turn it off apart from times when we are expecting a call.
Nella's dad suggested we email them photos, but again because we are wary of not living up to expectations about returning emails, we may do that through a photo sharing site rather than from our own email. One worry was that Nella would return to her previous precarious (very very precarious, believe me) living situation and lose her phone number, though she'd have ours, but we got her dad's number so if we need to call we can contact her through him.
I hope this does not make us sound like bad people. We know some families have a lot more contact than this, but this level of contact is unusual for families working with our agency, we have been told. We have set up for monthly photos, letters, and calls for the next six months, and I know Nella is happy for that to happen, and we are happy too. After that, I'm hoping for a repeat of my childhood, to be honest, with visits to a sunny US destination annually, both to bolster my American identity and to have family visits. We do want normality, but parenting an adopted child will never be entirely the same as parenting a birth child, and I hope we manage to bear that in mind.
We met N today (let's call her Nella, nothing like her real name but also not close to any of the other Ns involved in the situation!) and had a social afternoon, then met her parents and her daughter that lives with them. I'll think up some pseudonyms for them later if I need them I think.
Nella shed a few tears, but I think appreciated the visit, and we have heard from several other adoptive families that this is an unusual time to have a visit, and that many birth parents want a break but come back for visits later, so I do think she was brave to do it now since she knows she can't see him for another year at least, now.
The daughter (let's call her Montana) is in her teens, and had a nice time holding the baby, and trying to feed and burp him (it was lovely actually that all the adults present could tell her it was OK to bang his back a bit harder! Nella and I also bonded over telling a random man in a diner that no, he could NOT hold the baby. Sheesh.)
All in all it was good, we got some great photos, and we gave them the written (but legally unenforceable) open adoption agreement that Nella had asked for. I am coming round to the idea that she has some fairly major educational difficulties as she got her dad to read it for her, plus another comment she made about looking for work; he suggested some helpful ideas on visits which I think he would not have suggested had we not met, and he also (I think it's OK to give more details now) asked if we'd like to get photos of her older son, who was removed through Child Protective Services and has been adopted, to which we said, yes please.
One issue which we think she did not notice, or she would have objected to, was the means and timing of contact which we'd suggested in our agreement. Because of the crisis she was having, Nella called us almost every day in the two-three weeks leading up to his birth, and almost every day since then too. We aren't really sure we want to carry on having calls that often, and we have a number that can be diverted to voicemail which she uses, and we think we will turn it off apart from times when we are expecting a call.
Nella's dad suggested we email them photos, but again because we are wary of not living up to expectations about returning emails, we may do that through a photo sharing site rather than from our own email. One worry was that Nella would return to her previous precarious (very very precarious, believe me) living situation and lose her phone number, though she'd have ours, but we got her dad's number so if we need to call we can contact her through him.
I hope this does not make us sound like bad people. We know some families have a lot more contact than this, but this level of contact is unusual for families working with our agency, we have been told. We have set up for monthly photos, letters, and calls for the next six months, and I know Nella is happy for that to happen, and we are happy too. After that, I'm hoping for a repeat of my childhood, to be honest, with visits to a sunny US destination annually, both to bolster my American identity and to have family visits. We do want normality, but parenting an adopted child will never be entirely the same as parenting a birth child, and I hope we manage to bear that in mind.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Road trip
We've just had a three hour drive with a baby (translation - a 4 1/2 hour drive) to go and get Baby Spouse's passport and are being introduced to the joys of not-very-baby-friendly hotels. We got the crib (= UK cot, enormous, but he's such a wriggler he'll enjoy exploring the far reaches, it looks like something out of a 1950s movie, all white metal curved bars), but although the hotel said it had kitchenettes with microwaves, it only has a fridge and a coffee maker. And neither of those are any good for sterilising bottles.
It is interesting how people react to such a tiny baby (he's probably topped 8lb now), especially in the sling - I don't think they are that common here, but I'm anxious not to schlep him into shops and restaurants in the car seat, given his history, he needs a break. We've had people do double takes because they didn't realise he was there, and so many people ask how old he is.
We also had a service person in a store enquire about the paperwork we were copying, for the passport, ask "did you plan for him to be born here?" which is a fair question, as it's not too unlikely he could have been born either before the last date for flying, or after getting stuck here for some reason. We explained, as we have to quite a lot of people, that he is being adopted. "Awesome" was the reply (which is nice, as though most people are very positive, some are caught short for an answer) followed by a tale of his sister and her adopted daughter and, erm, the daughter's dreadful birth parents. As I said to Mr Spouse, I hope we bring up Baby Spouse to have more respect for his birth family.
It is interesting how people react to such a tiny baby (he's probably topped 8lb now), especially in the sling - I don't think they are that common here, but I'm anxious not to schlep him into shops and restaurants in the car seat, given his history, he needs a break. We've had people do double takes because they didn't realise he was there, and so many people ask how old he is.
We also had a service person in a store enquire about the paperwork we were copying, for the passport, ask "did you plan for him to be born here?" which is a fair question, as it's not too unlikely he could have been born either before the last date for flying, or after getting stuck here for some reason. We explained, as we have to quite a lot of people, that he is being adopted. "Awesome" was the reply (which is nice, as though most people are very positive, some are caught short for an answer) followed by a tale of his sister and her adopted daughter and, erm, the daughter's dreadful birth parents. As I said to Mr Spouse, I hope we bring up Baby Spouse to have more respect for his birth family.
Friday, January 20, 2012
You'll be relieved to hear
we finally got custody today.
We are sitting here playing on our computers with Baby Spouse gurgling away in the background (or possibly trying to work out how to escape from his swaddler. Probably the latter.)
Lots more paperwork starts now, though after talking to the completely useless passport expiditing service, we found out we can make an appointment for Monday morning and get the passport that afternoon, about 3 hours away. We spend quite a while this afternoon trying to get a suitable photo. We'll just have to see if it is OK.
If you are on the Book of Face, and you are in a suitable group of my friends, you can now see some photos for yourself. If you think you should be, and you are a regular commenter, you can always email me.
We are sitting here playing on our computers with Baby Spouse gurgling away in the background (or possibly trying to work out how to escape from his swaddler. Probably the latter.)
Lots more paperwork starts now, though after talking to the completely useless passport expiditing service, we found out we can make an appointment for Monday morning and get the passport that afternoon, about 3 hours away. We spend quite a while this afternoon trying to get a suitable photo. We'll just have to see if it is OK.
If you are on the Book of Face, and you are in a suitable group of my friends, you can now see some photos for yourself. If you think you should be, and you are a regular commenter, you can always email me.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
12 days old
We went out to a local touristy place today with the foster carer, her daughter, our son (obviously!) and a very old friend of mine who has been living in Agency-ville for 7 years (and is from here originally). It has been so good to see her - she's the kind of friend you can see after however-many years and then see again 2 days later and still have loads of (even non-baby-related) stuff to talk about, plus she has two little boys and is lending us her bassinet etc. etc. - I am not sure if I said this already, sorry if so.
There was a teeny awkward moment when FC's husband, who had joined us, asked something about Baby Spouse that we aren't making public (but FC needs to know), and I fudged, and had to tell FC the full story later. If it had been really crucial, I'd have told FC the minute I saw her (or the agency would have given her the full medical records, or we would). But it's hard, having some people know some things and some not.
N has called every day so far, but didn't call today. Though I'm happy to have a little break, I do want her to feel we are not neglecting her, especially if we are trying to set up initial visits with other birth family members (which we are), even if it ends up just being a one-off for his photo book, it will be worth it. So I'll probably call tomorrow to tell her how MUCH he is eating and how his cheeks are getting chubby! He's still a bit of a skinny minny but we are taking bets on whether he'll have gained a full pound or not by his next doctor's appointment.
The odd thing today was, walking around the touristy place with Baby Spouse in a wrap (that's Mr Spouse carrying him, it was his turn today), everyone says "ooh how tiny, how old is he" (and thankfully the wrap stops them from poking him) and then is amazed at how young he is, oh, only 12 days! It seems so old to me!
There was a teeny awkward moment when FC's husband, who had joined us, asked something about Baby Spouse that we aren't making public (but FC needs to know), and I fudged, and had to tell FC the full story later. If it had been really crucial, I'd have told FC the minute I saw her (or the agency would have given her the full medical records, or we would). But it's hard, having some people know some things and some not.
N has called every day so far, but didn't call today. Though I'm happy to have a little break, I do want her to feel we are not neglecting her, especially if we are trying to set up initial visits with other birth family members (which we are), even if it ends up just being a one-off for his photo book, it will be worth it. So I'll probably call tomorrow to tell her how MUCH he is eating and how his cheeks are getting chubby! He's still a bit of a skinny minny but we are taking bets on whether he'll have gained a full pound or not by his next doctor's appointment.
The odd thing today was, walking around the touristy place with Baby Spouse in a wrap (that's Mr Spouse carrying him, it was his turn today), everyone says "ooh how tiny, how old is he" (and thankfully the wrap stops them from poking him) and then is amazed at how young he is, oh, only 12 days! It seems so old to me!
Friday, January 13, 2012
Another thought
A brief thought, I hope.
I was emailing someone I know who isn't really a friend but who I know likes older kids, and who asked how it was all going, so I was about to write "you must come round and have a cuddle". She's younger, in a relationship, unlikely to be weepy over the thougt of someone else, not her, having a baby. But I had second thoughts and added "if you like babies that is". I must remember, I must tell myself to remember, it is not easy for everyone to love small babies. And how quickly I forgot that. I am not about to thrust my own ex-preemie with query breathing difficulties into everyone's arms during flu and cold season (after the NICU, Mr Spouse suggests we have a washing notice as people enter our house*). But I need to think.
*Three minutes washing here - I can't remember the Countdown song well enough so have the Jeopardy tune on internal repeat.
I was emailing someone I know who isn't really a friend but who I know likes older kids, and who asked how it was all going, so I was about to write "you must come round and have a cuddle". She's younger, in a relationship, unlikely to be weepy over the thougt of someone else, not her, having a baby. But I had second thoughts and added "if you like babies that is". I must remember, I must tell myself to remember, it is not easy for everyone to love small babies. And how quickly I forgot that. I am not about to thrust my own ex-preemie with query breathing difficulties into everyone's arms during flu and cold season (after the NICU, Mr Spouse suggests we have a washing notice as people enter our house*). But I need to think.
*Three minutes washing here - I can't remember the Countdown song well enough so have the Jeopardy tune on internal repeat.
Countdown
We don't think we'll get custody tomorrow (boooo) but we will definitely be having a crucial phone call with our social worker tomorrow, at an early time here (hooray!). Then it's waiting for a UK letter that could be issued on Monday and if it is issued on Monday and if the OHP is in the office (or picking up email) on Monday (which is MLK Day but not all offices take that day off) then we could get custody that day. Otherwise we are rooting for Tuesday.
We have all the paperwork we then need for Baby Spouse's passport on the starting line (one court order - in this state they will grant a court order to change the baby's name legally before the new birth certificate is issued, so the passport will be in our names - he's having both our surnames, but not hyphenated). So there should be fewer suspicious immigration officials.
Then the next two hurdles are birth father issues (the word here is, just hope no one says anything) and Baby Spouse's UK visa, for which we are supposed to produce a long list of documents almost all of which we already produced in order to be approved to adopt by the UK. Gah. One of them Mr Spouse, bad boy, has had to send for (at not too great cost). One further document is rarely available here (we're guessing the list was drawn up for international adoption in general) so we have to find out what we can get instead of this.
OK, you're bored now, I can tell. You want to know:
How cute is the baby? answer: very very very cute. We went over today between the FC's school drop-off and pick-up times, we are thinking of doing the same tomorrow as it worked well, but seeing if we can go out somewhere (less boring, good practice, etc. etc.). We are in a fairly major touristy town but it is only about 10C and overcast and most of the attractions are outdoors, so maybe the mall. Mr Spouse wants to go to the Gap. Sounds thrilling, no? But at least the new Moby will get an outing.
How well is Dr Spouse? answer: much better. Urgent care diagnosed not strep, but severe enough inflammation to warrant some steroids. So I'm now sporting an Eastern European style moustache actually able to swallow water, solids, and tablets. And codeine for the night-time cough. Bet you're thrilled at that. But you do feel proper ill when they give you something that you can't get on prescription. We're chilling out after a somewhat home-cooked meal (as home-cooked as the slightly sub-standard kitchen will allow - no corkscrew, I ask you!), and might watch some trash on TV shortly. My vote, as always, is for Law and Order.
We have all the paperwork we then need for Baby Spouse's passport on the starting line (one court order - in this state they will grant a court order to change the baby's name legally before the new birth certificate is issued, so the passport will be in our names - he's having both our surnames, but not hyphenated). So there should be fewer suspicious immigration officials.
Then the next two hurdles are birth father issues (the word here is, just hope no one says anything) and Baby Spouse's UK visa, for which we are supposed to produce a long list of documents almost all of which we already produced in order to be approved to adopt by the UK. Gah. One of them Mr Spouse, bad boy, has had to send for (at not too great cost). One further document is rarely available here (we're guessing the list was drawn up for international adoption in general) so we have to find out what we can get instead of this.
OK, you're bored now, I can tell. You want to know:
How cute is the baby? answer: very very very cute. We went over today between the FC's school drop-off and pick-up times, we are thinking of doing the same tomorrow as it worked well, but seeing if we can go out somewhere (less boring, good practice, etc. etc.). We are in a fairly major touristy town but it is only about 10C and overcast and most of the attractions are outdoors, so maybe the mall. Mr Spouse wants to go to the Gap. Sounds thrilling, no? But at least the new Moby will get an outing.
How well is Dr Spouse? answer: much better. Urgent care diagnosed not strep, but severe enough inflammation to warrant some steroids. So I'm now
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Not Impressed Of The Day
We bought a Moby wrap (after trying a couple of other ones at the foster carer's - they are just too big for our weeny baby, though did I say, I think I forgot, that either he regained his birth weight or (more likely I think) he had a very very wet nappy when weighed yesterday. But he put on some weight, anyway). Took it over the foster carer's and tried it out on Mr Spouse, when the FC's daughter said "I smell something funny". No, we all said, nothing funny, but then we realised - the wrap had been used. By someone who smoked. And it did indeed stink.
Not only that, but the big box store claimed they "never resell things" when I took it back.
In other news, Baby Spouse may possibly have learned to cry, we gave him a bath tonight and his grizzling could be heard downstairs. This will reassure my mother who was panicking on the phone that there must be something wrong with him if he isn't crying (the doctors aren't worried so we aren't!). My mother also wanted to Skype with him which, frankly, is not going to happen any time until he can set it up himself. I hate Skype - she loves it and uses it all the time with my nieces - once we used it when she was with us, and I could not tell which of my nieces (then aged 3 and 6, I think) I was talking to, the picture was so bad. I told her there was no point as he does not look different in a still picture than in live action as he is so placid.
Not only that, but the big box store claimed they "never resell things" when I took it back.
In other news, Baby Spouse may possibly have learned to cry, we gave him a bath tonight and his grizzling could be heard downstairs. This will reassure my mother who was panicking on the phone that there must be something wrong with him if he isn't crying (the doctors aren't worried so we aren't!). My mother also wanted to Skype with him which, frankly, is not going to happen any time until he can set it up himself. I hate Skype - she loves it and uses it all the time with my nieces - once we used it when she was with us, and I could not tell which of my nieces (then aged 3 and 6, I think) I was talking to, the picture was so bad. I told her there was no point as he does not look different in a still picture than in live action as he is so placid.
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