Saturday, May 31, 2014

And further apologies

The last post was in draft for 3 days... But yes, we have met her, she's a lot more gorgeous than in the photos birth family took of her in some rather hideous clothes, and she's just very very small.
Currently I'm trying to manage a toddler who doesn't really like the heat, or riding in cars a lot, in 32C heat and a sprawling city. And I'm also trying to remember how to feed a teeny newborn who finds it tiring to suck. Small thinks she's "cute", he's clearly making an effort to remember her name, and he thinks her hair is "fluffy". He doesn't seem too impressed with me holding her, not surprisingly.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Sorry to leave you hanging!

I'm currently looking at cute, handmade, very expensive unisex baby clothes on Pinterest to counteract the bushel of Minnie Mouse outfits that birth family seem intent on giving our daughter.

Yes, you read that right - paperwork all signed off, Tiny is with Lovely Cradle Care Lady in Agencyville, I'm in Birth City with Cranky Toddler henceforth known as Small.

We had an, er, trying day today which I didn't manage superbly well but Small coped OK. He was rather taken with Tiny's birth father despite the suboptimal teeth to tattoo ratio. Sadly, I found out yesterday that he (Tiny's BF) was adopted himself, aged 8, I assume after a lengthy spell in care.  I am angry with myself and also with some other people, unconnected to us, about disclosing information that isn't theirs to disclose. But there's not much that can be done now.

I have managed to stay awake a full hour longer than I thought I would by the power of Fritos. Small went to sleep at his normal time so we'll see if he's bouncing off th walls at 4 am again.

Name inspiration:

Saturday, May 24, 2014

On tenterhooks

The baby (a girl) was born early this morning. Nella has called and texted us several times, including sending several pictures. She doesn't really have much option besides terminating her rights, sadly for her, given her history - New Agency social worker says the hospital is aware of the child protection involvement.
So we should meet her on Tuesday. However, it's possible that she (I think I'll call her Tiny, because she is) may be discharged to the cradle (foster) carer on Monday. In which case we'll spend Tuesday with Nella, her parents, Tiny's probable father, Nella's older daughter, and possibly Nella's older son and his parents, all scaring poor Baby Spouse, who will also be jetlagged. Deep joy.

Monday, May 19, 2014

As Peter Kay would say...

Booked it, packed it, f*&(&(*ed off...

Well, I've done the first, most of the second (calculating daily what I can pack away next), not yet the third.

I've booked flights for Monday (a week today) to Nella's city (which is about 3 or 4 hours from NLA/New Agency City).  The plan (and you know what they say about plans) is that I fly with Baby Spouse that day, arriving late afternoon Central Time, and go straight to an airport motel where we both go to sleep. We would then see Nella and her parents the next few days, staying in a Suites type motel nearer the parents' home. 

I am understandably pretty nervous about this. I'm nervous about flying with Baby Spouse, that he'll be very upset/not sleep, nervous about driving on my own in a big city that I don't know well (I'm no more nervious about doing this on the wrong side of the road though!), nervous about seeing them all, nervous that the baby will be late and we'll be hanging around for ages and ages, and of course very nervous that Nella will change her mind again.

Mr Spouse should be coming out after about a week (though if the baby is very late this just means we'll have even longer twiddling our thumbs and not doing very much, while Nella probably gets more and more fed up). I am trying to be a bit sensitive to her and not say every five minutes "so, any news?".

I have a feeling Nella thinks we are planning to come a bit earlier and also to fly immediately the baby is born, like we did last time - firstly we are still very fed up with her, and secondly it's not as easy to drop our lives this time as it was last time - so I'm not really looking forward to breaking it to her that we aren't coming as soon as she'd like, either.

On the other hand, it will be warm (no, it will be unbearably hot) and Baby Spouse loves swimming and the motel has a pool... And I've been looking up toddler swimming lessons, and library toddler story sessions, all that kind of thing, in NA City. We are likely to be there for longer this time than last time (it was 6 weeks last time but our home study wasn't completed 30 nanoseconds before travelling last time). We're trying to look on this as a little holiday.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

A mild irritation

As of yesterday, whichever due date you pick, the new baby is at term (37 weeks).

This means that given any slight developmental delay, if the baby is placed with us we do not have a good, publicly sharable reason for it.

Other than that, I'm alternately twiddling my thumbs and manically running around trying to get work done. Today's jobs are to re-read a long and annoying document that's been hanging around for a while, and to put away in some drawers some files that should not be hanging around in my office (but that have been for months). I'm getting nearer.

We've been calling Nella and she's been positive and responding.  She tells me "oh you listen to me so much better than my mom/my older son's mom". Well, I don't berate her for her lifestyle choices because (although they may still turn out to have affected Baby Spouse) I can't do anything about them, and also because we have been much luckier than her older son's mother, or to be more strictly accurate Baby Spouse has been luckier than his older brother, who seems to have some significant developmental delay.

We accidentally found out a way to text each other (Google Voice) and she sent both a picture of her "friend" who was partly responsible for her quick trip to jail and also (she says) responsible for her being pregnant.  All I can say is none of the tattoos I can see would lead me to believe he will become too angry if he's obviously not the dad.

And that is it really. I am just wishing that the baby would arrive early (so we have no more limbo, and so I can meet the baby) and wishing that it wouldn't (because our paperwork is nowhere NEAR crossing the pond, and if our paperwork isn't there, we can't have custody).  Current plan is that I fly in about two weeks with Baby Spouse unless the baby gets here sooner, and if I do that, we'll spend some time with Nella (if she is around) and her parents, before the baby is born.  Baby Spouse is due an annual visit with her/them, even if we are still annoyed with her.