Thursday, March 19, 2009


That's my head, what with not knowing whether we are coming or going.

This is going to be a long story, so forgive me if I start it and leave you hanging.

Question 1, which we asked way back in about September when we first got to the US (and which I'd been musing over since probably last summer). I feel oddly guilty about this and I'm not sure if it's because I haven't shared it with my lovely readers, or if it's because the whole idea seems, in some senses, like a cop-out. Too easy. Think of the children in foster care.

Suppose we decided to stay in the US (after all, we were about to get, and indeed did get, an exciting new government). Suppose I applied for a job here and Mr Spouse got a green card (or even citizenship!). Or suppose we (or at least I) didn't get jobs but we applied for domestic adoption here and had a miraculously quick placement - are we eligible since we haven't been resident here long? could we legally take the baby back to the UK? would we be likely to be picked by a birth mother anyway if we're maybe going to take the baby away?

So, we went to an adoption panel locally and pestered Nice Attorney with questions - the answer to the last one, he feels at least, is Yes because we have Good Accents and people like the UK. So at least that's payback for all the "oh, you're South African" or "Oh, how come you have such a nice accent, you must practice all the time".

And the answer to the first and second suppositions turned out to be the economy, stupid. Mr. Spouse is not going to get a job here, I'm not going to get a job at my level here (or maybe I would, but there's no way it would be as family friendly - 12 months maternity leave) as in the UK, and even if I did, and he decided to study instead of working, we wouldn't be able to afford any of it.

So, we were left with "apply, rush it through, and hope they'll let us take the baby home". Which led us to a lot of legal questions, a lot of internet research from Mr. "Amateur legal expert" Spouse, and a bit of a dead end. UK law only allows a child adopted overseas while you are living overseas to come back to the UK 12 months after the adoption is finalised (which in our state is 6 months after the birth, and I think that's standard).

OK, sorry to leave you hanging there, and there is more to this story, but I have to say that my complicated multi-collaborator application I'm writing is simpler and will make my brain hurt less.

1 comment:

Thalia said...

Well, it was worth a try given the way adoption works there versus here. Sorry it didnt' work out.