Thursday, February 27, 2014


That's News In Brief to those not in the know.

  • We had our first, and second (and last) home study sessions last week and this. Because our home study was done by the same social worker, with the same agency, last time, and the main thing that has changed is, well, we have Baby Spouse, she's really only had to update it.  She couldn't fit this in before, and she wanted to allocate two full days to it in case it took longer than she thought.
  • She still has some further checks to arrive back, and she should have already submitted her full report to the Panel to meet this date, officially, but she's assuming we will go the Approval Panel in April. One of the missing items is an interview with one of our referees who is far too casual about the whole urgency thing.  I rang him last night and I hope I sounded sufficiently panicked.
  • We spoke to New Agency's social worker with whom we sympathised over the difficulties with Nella.  NA SW told us that, contrary to what Nella has told us, Nella denies that her current boyfriend is the new baby's father, and that Nella has said she is genuinely unsure who the father is. We aren't sure if she thought CB was the father, but changed her mind (or vice versa, or twice) or if she was just telling each party what she thought they wanted to hear (or if she was telling one party what was easiest/what she thought they wanted to hear, and the other the truth-as-she-sees-it).
  • We rang Nella again earlier in the week to push her one more time for a "here's your birth father and your birth mother" photo of herself and CB for the new baby, and CB answered the phone (which occasionally he does if she is driving/busy).  And told us that she's in jail.
  • Yep, you read that right.  If you remember, this has happened before. There is nothing we can do, and OHP has confirmed there's nothing we can or should do, we know she'll be getting fed, she cannot go AWOL/call another agency, there are some ways in which she will be taking better care of herself by force of circumstances, but she also cannot go to her regular doctor's appointments and there are obviously bad things about this circumstance.  Like any other relative fed up with someone's behaviour, this doesn't feel like an entirely bad thing, but we know this isn't going to alter anything long term for her.  We just hope it doesn't mean anything bad, long term, for us or the new baby, and we hope it doesn't last too long.
  • Sigh.
  • We're having a nice few days away (both of us having a single day's work to do in That London have managed to make these two days next to each other, so Mr Spouse has taken Baby Spouse to the park, and shopping, today, while I'm taking him to see some horses tomorrow, and we're all going to the zoo on Saturday).
  • Oh, and a couple of people in need of thoughts at the moment: Henry Street is flying to see the woman who is just about to give birth and whose baby will likely be their second child. She is very nervous but here's hoping it's the beginning of a wonderful new adventure.  May on the other hand is facing a new beginning in a much less pleasant way, working out how to move out her stuff from her marital home and into a new life without her H.  Hand-holding for both of them, and particularly gentle for May please.


Twangypearl the Elastic Girl said...

Oh my. Sigh, indeed. Fingers crossed for the best.

In the meantime, HORSES! And snakes, and prairie dogs and whatnot. Have fun.

Claudia said...

oh, sigh indeed. Very glad you've got the updates done though. One step closer!

AuntMimi said...

I'm a new follower exploring the idea of adoption after infertility. Hoping that this is a good thing for you that she is in jail.

DrSpouse said...

Welcome to the blog and the world of adoption, Aunt Mimi. I think it is more accurate to say that we all hope whatever the outcome is, is the best outcome for the baby, not for us.