Monday, December 05, 2011

Very wobbly

We have now reached, more or less, the stage at which we could get a call saying "healthy but very early baby" (the due dates on the medical reports we've seen say, first report, 12th Jan, second report 24th Jan, and I do know the first one is more likely to be accurate). So why am I panicking more about things going wrong?

We spoke to N briefly (as in, I'm about to go eat, nice to speak to you, oh you don't have a holiday there?) on Thanksgiving (we ended up having guinea fowl on the Sunday, though we do sometimes have large group Thanksgiving meals - we had a lovely one a couple of years ago), but since then have again got voicemail a couple of times. 
Though so far when this happens she has rung us back I'm biting my nails over a couple of things - the last time she called us, she sounded shocked that it was so late in the evening here (we don't mind at all, it wasn't that late for us, and we stay up late - especially Mr Spouse - and we occasionally get calls at odd hours regarding his mother). 

Also, she was due to have a doctor's appointment which I think was after Thanksgiving, and she told us she'd try and get us a copy of the ultrasound. Now leaving aside how freaky that would be for us, we don't want her to feel obligated to send us this if she doesn't want to, and apart from of course being worried that she's a) changed her mind about us or b) had a very large life crisis which is a likely event given what she is susceptible to, and gone off-grid, I'm also worried she c) is rethinking the ultrasound issue but doesn't want to say.

We did email the SW yesterday to say some of this (but sounding less panicky) and now of course I'm worried that we haven't heard from her, and no news especially in case b) does not necessarily mean good news.

We were chatting at lunch (great side effect of Mr Spouse being temporarily a spotty student is that we can have lunch together) and also realised we're very confused about the custody/timing issue after the birth, IF things get that far (well clearly the baby is not staying in there for ever but you know what I mean!).  I'm having to tell more and more people I might not be around, so I think I'm going to have to find out from Official Hague Person more of what the timetable might look like. Which is in itself of course even more scary.


Bernardeena said...

Have some virtual hand holding, I'm not surprised you feel a bit wobbly! I hope everything goes smoothly.

Claudia said...

Oh wow, that must be incredibly nerve-wracking! It's so hard dealing with timing at work, isn't it? I found it so hard to explain to everyone what was happening. The one good thing is that saying the same thing over and over again does make it feel more real.... good luck!!