Friday, December 21, 2007

Just relax(in)

I was intrigued to find, at a small internal conference, a poster by a student in another department at my university, on this link - the possibility that relaxin may be crucial for embryo implantation. I think this is well-known in animal research but it seems they are only just transferring it to humans. Not that relevant to me, but I'm not sure the article would have meant much to me at all if I hadn't had a few pregnancies and/or read up about reproductive physiology a bit.

Anyway I am pretty exhausted after a long haul up to Christmas, and am in theory supposed to be doing some work today, but so far have only answered a few emails and developed period pain and a headache. I'm not sure if I really wanted to be stressed and pregnant again on the anniversary of my first positive pregnancy test and Sproutetta's due date (both the 30th) but I'm not.

It's been 6 cycles since my last pregnancy ended and this is the point at which I started making appointments to see the GP the first time around - and started the blog. I am not sure seeing anyone about fertility is what I want to do at this stage - all the fixable and permanent/structural things, as well as MF, have been ruled out, both medically and by our approximately 6-9 month latency of pregnancy on average. I know I'm ovulating every month as I get very clear progesterone symptoms (actually feeling hot, sore boobs, some cramps). If I didn't have a calendar I would still know when day 21 was. I suppose I could ask for an FSH test but although if it was massively elevated it might make us decide to give up on even trying to get pregnant, we aren't in a position to do anything else in the next year, so we might as well just carry on. I guess I feel OK about this.

I was very weepy yesterday watching Cranford (it's a period drama, based very loosely on some novels by Mrs Gaskell) for some bizarre reason (a small boy with a thirst for literacy but whose father doesn't see the point of books is taken in by a kindly clerk, who dies and leaves him money to go to school and indeed to build a school). Mr Spouse gave me a hug and suggested we steal a small Central American baby when we go to the US. "No-one will notice", he said kindly.


May said...

Your husband cracks me up. 'No one will notice,' heh heh heh.

And I wept over "Cranford" too - I wept buckets. And so did H. Amazing show for 'releasing' to.

I hear you on the not really wanting to see/ do anything about fertility at this stage. Sometimes enough is enough.

Merry Christmas.

Thalia said...

oh yes, the moment where miss matty said: "i imagine a little girl, she's always the same age...." I wept. and I wept again for that bit where the little boy inherited all that money. It was a great adaptation.

I hope you have a good break together. I can only imagine how much you need it.

geepeemum said...

I'm so glad to hear other people cried too. My friends thought I was insane. I cried buckets through all of them. Esepcaially the little boy with croup - that guilt for the older sister - and the bit that Thalia mentioned.....

Geohde said...

Your husband is very cute. I'd hope that plenty of people would notice, or the alternative is very sad, really.

Have a happy and safe 2008